Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B | Grade It Now!
Sam I Am
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Some things Chuck wants us to know: Hannah wanted to know who Sarah was, because she liked him. Shaw hit on Sarah. Ellie was delighted to catch Chuck smooching Hannah, his "secret girlfriend." Now, Awesome hangs upside-down exercising as Ellie says she can't believe Chuck hasn't told her about Hannah. She remembers him telling her about his first crush: Mrs. Seaver, the mom from Growing Pains. Ellie says Devon used to tell her everything too and wonders if he's keeping anything else from her. He says he's not in a high-pitched, Awesome The Terrible Liar voice so she feels his pulse and says it's racing. He points out, rightly and wrongly, that he's exercising, then deflects by getting her to go talk to Chuck instead.

At Chuck's, Ellie gives a long-winded speech outside the bathroom door where someone's showering. As we all know, when this happens on TV, the person in the shower is never the person that the one outside the door is talking to. She goes on and on about him not telling her stuff anymore, and how she wishes she'd known about "the new girl," and she won't tell Sarah if he doesn't want her to. Hannah comes out in a towel, and introduces herself. Ellie says she's embarrassed, but doesn't leave. Chuck comes back in with donuts and introduces everyone very awkwardly. I know you wouldn't think he could have made that situation any more awkward, but he totally did, especially when he tells Ellie that Hannah's his "close friend -- technically as close as two people can get." Hannah goes to get dressed, and Ellie and Chuck mutually apologize to each other. Chuck's going to make it up to her by making her favorite: his chicken pepperoni. Which it's obvious she does not love. Also: What the hell is chicken pepperoni? Sarah says she's glad Chuck's moving on from Sarah, but his face makes it obvious he isn't really.

Sarah and Shaw are having a very sunny lunch that looks romantic, judging by the way he's eating her dessert and all. She says they shouldn't see each other, and he asks if this is a preemptive breakup. As they talk, we see someone putting a fancy gun together somewhere. She says she has to stop mixing her personal and professional lives. He tells her he gets it, then leans in romantically and says the vehicle in question has arrived. Casey, listening in, "Roger that." Man, poor Casey has to listen in on a lot of personal and professional life mingling, doesn't he. A mean guy threatens a valet, then Casey shoots him with the tranq gun we've been watching him put together. Sarah and Shaw pop him in the car and peel away.

At Castle, Sarah briefs ... no one, really, since they all knew what they were doing. I guess she's briefing us. The bad guy is Rafe, who is one of five people who can hit a target with a gun from half a mile away. And he's a chameleon and very few people have seen his face. Casey's not impressed, but Sarah says the Ring is, as they've wired $1 million into his account. Shaw says the enemy of their enemy is their friend, so they need to know who the Ring wants dead. Casey says he's perfect for this mission, since there's nothing this clown Rafe can do that he can't do. Shaw says Casey might be perfect for the mission, but they're going with Chuck on this one, and he's going to assume Rafe's identity. They talk about how he's ready, and then he comes in acting all goofy with a box of donuts. Shaw asks what's with him, and Casey says he must have gotten lucky on his date last night. Sarah looks uncomfortable. They catch Chuck up on Rafe (actually, once his name's said aloud, his Intersect brain catches him up). Then they tell him he's going to assume the identity of the world's most dangerous assassin.

Shaw and Sarah teach Chuck about assuming an alias, how even his innate reflexes have to change. Shaw slaps him across the face to get his point across. The plan: Casey's going to get the details of who Rafe's meeting and Chuck's going to go in as Rafe. Chuck's like, "Good luck with that," since Rafe's not really the type to spill details of his top-secret kills, but Casey fires up a blowtorch and says he can be very persuasive. Chuck follows him, to learn about Rafe. He actually says to the world's most dangerous assassin: "Assassin isn't exactly something one finds at a booth at career day. How did you become interested in this line of work?" Then "What was your most dangerous hit?" When Rafe says, "I'll take the torture over this man's questions," Chuck repeats it perfectly, impressing himself and Casey. Rafe's phone rings, and Chuck answers it in Rafe voice. He sets up the meeting with the caller, which he knows because it's right across from the cupcake place. Casey: "Not bad, Bartowski." Chuck: "Who the hell is Bartowski?" Me: "Why do they keep saying Chuck's real name in front of the world's most dangerous assassin?" Opening credits.

Buy More. Hannah and Chuck are inappropriately making out while at work, which is just one reason we know the relationship is doomed. Jeffster! whisper about what a way Chuck has with the ladies, then Big Mike starts his lecture on why he has them all gathered (minus Morgan, who's at a leadership seminar, apparently): Crock Pots. They received more than expected and have to find a way to sell them, so Big Mike's solution is to cook some yummy-smelling gumbo to make people want to buy one and cook. Hannah and Chuck get cuddly and Jeffster! narrows down Chuck's magic with women to LSD or sorcery. Big Mike puts Jeffster! on chopping and dicing detail. Speaking of cooking, Chuck tells Casey he needs to be out of tonight's mission by 5 so he can prepare his special chicken pepperoni recipe. Casey growls for him to get his priorities straight.

Castle. Sarah's handcuffing Rafe, who tells her he sees how Shaw looks at her, but surely has no clue what to do to a beautiful woman like Sarah, but Rafe does. She cuffs his legs to the chair, as Shaw listens from outside the cell. Rafe laughs that he'd take good care of her, and Sarah leaves the room. Shaw goes in behind her and punches Rafe in the face. Now he's ready to move on. Back at the Buy More, Hannah and Chuck are still kissing, and it's really weird. Hannah says she'll be thinking about last night while she's on her install. He pretends he has an install too, and says he'll pick her up before dinner. Jeffster! continues being jealous.

At Castle, Chuck's hairs all slicked back and he's out of Buy More gear, so he's obviously ready to pass as an assassin. Casey comes in wearing a black trench coat, and says the moron can't go in alone. Shaw and Sarah explain the guys Chuck's meeting are more "old-fashioned." Cut to Pauly Walnuts and Edgar from 24, in what we're obviously supposed to think is a mafia bar. Chuck and Casey enter, and the Wimpiest Mafia in History (I mean, you do remember Edgar from 24, don't you?) tell "Rafe" his reputation precedes him. Chuck introduces his associate, John, but tells them he doesn't talk much. Pauly recognizes Casey from somewhere, but Casey says that's not likely. "Rafe" tells Pauly and Edgar that not many people have seen his face and lived, so they should consider themselves lucky. Pauly repeats that Casey looks familiar. Edgar hilariously tells Rafe he's a huge fan of his work and wonders what was his toughest hit. Chuck slams down his cup and asks if he thinks it's okay to ask a guy he just met something personal like that. Edgar and Pauly look afraid until Chuck fake-laughs and they all chuck along. "Rafe" says the toughest assignment's always the next one. "You forget that, and you die."

In the van, Shaw asks if Sarah's okay and she says she just thinks this alias thing must be hard for Chuck, since he's not a very good liar. Shaw says he sounds pretty good, but she says he's not like them: used to living someone else's life. Bad dialogue as Sarah mopes about how she barely remembers who she is anymore. Inside, Pauly re

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