Episode Report Card
LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now!
Mission: Barely Possible
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

It's Chuck's first day at the office, but it might as well be the first day at middle school for all the fun he is having. Not only did his mom make him wear a suit, when all the other kids get awesome uniforms, but he forgot where he is supposed to be going and there isn't a hall monitor in sight. He tries to ask a bigger kid, but the big kid is busy and has no time to play NSA tour guide. Chuck pouts as the big kid knocks him out of the way. But Chuck, you didn't want that guy as a friend anyway! Not only is he a bully, but he's a Ring operative. The guy walks into the NSA morgue, and when the NSA officer stationed there (Mary Pat Gleason!) demands identification, he shoots her in the head. Which she, like, totally deserved, because RED TAPE. He then proceeds to find the body of The Mole that "Chuck" shot last week. Using some sort of magnet thingy with an ominously beeping red light, he removes a device from The Mole's nether regions. Death has no glory for a downed bulimic spy. First he binges on all those data drives and then he's forced to purge them post mortem before he can reach the pearly gates. Being a spy kind of sucks, guys!

Other ways it sucks? Their offices are booby-trapped labyrinths filled with ninjas, with no "You Are Here" maps or anything. Chuck finally stumbles into the correct office and then whips out his gun in the waiting room and tries to make some friends by talking firearms, because isn't that what spies and military types talk about? Pistols and whether Top Gun was an accurate portrayal of life in the military? Unfortunately for Chuck, this group has its grumpy face on and would rather he keep his piece holstered. The General finally comes out, and she gives his Chuck his first assignment: He is to move to Italy and be a flashy, rich ex-pat. For some reason, Chuck is only just now realizing he is a real spy with, like, actual job responsibilities. He is overwhelmed by it all. It's just moving so fast! The General does not really abide this nonsense. She reminds Chuck that he has been training for this for years now and pretty much begged to be a spy in the first place and, in short: NO. Chuck can't backtrack now. He is a spy and that's that. Chuck pouts some more, but The General won't hear it. She will give Chuck one week and one week only to whinge and hand-wring and wear sackcloth and weep and sprinkle ashes, but then he has to come back to Washington and be a goddamn spy already. Chuck perks up when The General mentions that he has to assemble a team to accompany him. He knows just whom he wants on his team... and she's in Burbank. Good lord, Chuck, SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND.

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