Charmed
Engaged And Confused

Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 1 USERS: C
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Engaged And Confused

Hell. Zar and The Zombie Triad sneer at each other for a very lengthy period of time until Candor dusts Zar with a Flaming Ball Of Death. Next!

The Loneliest Precinct House In The World Of All The News That's Fit To Fuck Me. Just thought I'd try out a new nickname, seeing as how they're not even trying to hide the fact that they're using the same set for both workplaces anymore. Long story short, Raige arrives and drags Darling Henry out into the hallway, where she basically tells him she might die that evening. Cheery! "All right," he says, admirably absorbing that blow while gallantly assuring Raige of his continued faith in her and her abilities, "when you get back, I'm going to marry you as soon as I can -- at the engagement party." "You were supposed to cancel that," Raige breathes, getting all misty-eyed. "I guess I didn't," he shrugs. Just as they move in for a clinch, the camera cuts over to...

...The Prue Halliwell Memorial Bimbo Boudoir Of Paisley Tit Slings And Other Fashion Atrocities, currently occupied by the children's nursery. There follows an utterly pointless scene between Phoebe and Coop -- with a special guest appearance by Crusty Ted -- before Coop hearts on out of there. No, seriously, his heart, like, emits a spray of pink light that eventually suffuses his entire body, which then dematerializes. That was way too brokeback, even for me. Hell, I think that's too brokeback for Johnny frigging Weir. Learn how to squiggle, dude. In any event, Phoebe heaves a sigh and mashes the Fun Bags up against the camera's lens for a second, and then it's back up to...

...the nonexistent attic, where The Retarded Bimbo's determined that The Zombie Triad is hanging out at Not!warts, thanks to that stupid scrying-by-computer thing that I hate so much. The Glamorous Ladies review their plan of attack one last time before clasping hands and orbing towards the detested school. Once left alone with each other, Chrissssty and The Retard perch on Aunt Pearl's settee and link arms, with The Retard insisting, "Whatever happens, we're gonna stick together." "Of course!" Chrissssty chirpily agrees. "That's what sisters are for, right?" The Retard smiles at her before turning her head to stare blankly into the middle distance, because the camera needs to pull a slow pan into Chrissssty's face as her expression hardens right before she shoots a dark sideways glare into the final commercial break, and Kaley Cuoco's too lousy an actress to concoct a believable bit of business for her character during that bit, even though it lasted all of three seconds. HATE.

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Charmed

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