Carrie Diaries
Win Some, Lose Some

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: C | 6 USERS: B
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Material Girls

This season, more than ever, I wish The Carrie Diaries was about Carrie White of the movie and Stephen King novel fame. But it's about Carrie Bradshaw and her near-perfect life. Sure, her kind-of-boyfriend Sebastian made out with her shittiest friend, Maggie, but now she gets to live probably rent-free in her friends' giant New York loft with her gay best friend with a job at a fashion magazine. And all of this without any blood, telekinetic powers, or religious zealotry.

So in the first scene, a very blonde and modern looking Carrie is playing chess with a very tan Sebastian, and Maggie, who is not Dead Rosie Larsen after all. Carrie gets to wear lots of fun clothes, even to sleep in, and drink Cosmopolitans in the club even though she's underage. It's the '80s, there are little to no rules!

Walt comes in to wake Carrie up and she is presumably hung over from another night of teenage binge drinking in NYC, which is what her tank top says. She and Walt discuss all the things that happened last season, normal Saturday morning chat stuff. Walt is still sort of in the closet and Carrie still cares about Sebastian, just when we thought we were rid of him as a character.

Walt tells Carrie that Donna's report includes the information that Maggie got a summer job working at the country club. You know, the country club where everything happens and all the shit goes down. This is somehow bad news to Carrie, even though in the next scene Maggie is clearly getting shit on by Donna and all the other rich people of Castlebury. They're sipping drinks by the pool and Sebastian is getting in and out of the pool in slow motion. Sebastian says he doesn't want anyone to think things are going on between him and Maggie in case it were to get back to Carrie. Sebastian and Maggie argue about the kiss and how they both lost Perfect Carrie over it. Donna watches suspiciously, making me wish this show was just a little more '80s-licious.

Carrie goes back home for the weekend to have a very late breakfast with her family so that we can still keep up with Dorrit and Tom. I don't get it, the actor who plays Carrie's dad is so great on Scandal and so flat on this show. Tom asks Carrie if she's seeing anyone and they all agree that's creepy. Tom confides in Carrie he's glad he doesn't have to worry about Dorrit dating, but little does he know she already gave away her virginity to a boy at least three years older than her named Miller.

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Carrie Diaries

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