Carrie Diaries

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: C- | 1 USERS: B+
The Giant Pink Turkey in the Room

Carrie tells her dad that she and Dorrit are trying to deal with their mom not being there today, and he didn't even notice. The turkey officially sets on fire, which pops the oven door open and blows a fuse. Ba-dum bum.

Over candles and flashlights, Carrie laments that everything is ruined. They won't have power until the next day and don't have any food to eat. George has been looking for candles and Carrie assumes he is ready to run away screaming because he has clearly indicated all day that he is on the verge. Basically this whole episode Carrie has been acting like a self-absorbed, stubborn bitch and no one is going to call her out on it.

Carrie explains to Dorrit that she just wanted to make Thanksgiving perfect because it was their mom's favorite holiday. Dorrit, who is the least self-involved Bradshaw, noticed that their mom was always too stressed out on Thanksgiving and hated doing all the work. Just like Carrie was. Dorrit says it felt wrong to try to do Thanksgiving, and Carrie says it felt wrong not to try.

In the living room, Tom sits all alone in the dark, not helping or looking for candles. He is contemplating until Drunk Harlan enters stage right. Tom feels like an asshole for not worrying about keeping Thanksgiving alive. Carrie made him feel like an asshole. Harlan fell asleep too quickly to hear any of Tom's real feelings that came pouring forth, and wakes up snorting "Patriots!" I hope Harlan drives himself home and runs into a tree.

Young, Dirty Cop asks Maggie what happened at Thanksgiving, because she is obviously depressed. He's cute and cares about Maggie. He's also definitely not gay, so I am all in favor of Maggie making out with him. He talks about her not wearing underwear, which makes her laugh and almost make out with him. She then notices that keeps doing things without thinking about how they will affect her future, then kicks him out. Bah, whatever.

Back at the Bradshaw home, George is getting ready to leave and make sure his dad doesn't choke on his own tongue. Carrie is being neurotic, proving that she just might make it in the city after all. No wonder George likes her. He makes Carrie feel better, like a perfect, understanding TV boyfriend. Carrie's screwups are not nearly as annoying as her obsessing about them, but George just wants to get in those high-waisted jeans.

Maggie comes over to Carrie's house to hang out with Carrie and Mouse, then Sebastian shows up at her door in a denim jacket with a shearling collar, smoldering like that turkey. Carrie and Sebastian sit on her porch to have real talk. Oh my god they are so meant to be, guys. They can really be themselves around each other. Sebastian says he was driving around and realized that Carrie was the person he really wanted to see. Then, he alludes to making mistakes and wishing he could go back. Carrie tells him he can't go back. Sebastian could never go back far enough in time to not be a skanky ho.

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Carrie Diaries




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