Damascus, NE

Episode Report Card
Strega: B- | Grade It Now!
Getting Dirty

Previously: There was an elephant. And then it went away. Sigh.

Brother Justin and his army of clones step into the frame, aieee. Oh, wait, it's just set of mirrors. It seems that he's getting fitted for a new suit. Iris intervenes when the Chinese tailor says that Justin's inseam measures 31 inches. She insists that it's 32 and a half. The tailor disagrees, so Iris grabs the measuring tape and prepares to prove him wrong. Does anyone think that Iris might have bribed the tailor just so she could have an excuse to run her hands up into her brother's crotch? She is, of course, correct about the measurement. Justin looks around curiously as we hear children's voices nearby. In the mirror, he sees the reflection of a window; there's a ferris wheel outside, with kids riding in it. Justin turns to look at the actual window, and there's no ferris wheel to be seen. Iris runs her hand between Justin's legs and up over his ass. The back of the jacket flops into sections, and Iris complains, "The whole back of the suit is split open." The tailor explains, "That's how we dress a corpse. It's a funeral suit." Justin stares in the mirror as the lights fade out. He looks down at Iris at his feet, and raises her head up gently. But now Iris is wearing the plaster mask of Ben's face, and clutching the trench knife. She jerks the knife up into Justin's crotch, and I think they're going to have to measure his inseam again after that.

Justin jumps awake shouting, and quickly shuffles his hands under the blankets to make sure that his manhood is intact. Reassured, he gets out of bed and peers out at an ambulance parked outside, just as another car drives up to the house.

Out front, Iris is offering to tend some wound the ambulance driver has suffered. I'm guessing it's a bite inflicted by his passenger. He insists, "I'll get it looked at after we drop her off," and hurries away. The new car disgorges its driver: Bishop McNaughton. He asks if everything's all right, and Iris explains, "Our new maid. Bad case of nerves." I wonder if the same ambulance driver takes the maids away every time, and that's why he was in a hurry to leave. Iris greets McNaughton and asks if he'll join them for breakfast. He replies, "Do I smell bacon?"

Ben drives. Drive, Ben, drive. On the seat beside him is the Moon card. The truck enters the stretch of road with the grain silos, but there aren't any canines in sight. There is a sign for Damascus, though.

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