Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 15 USERS: B+
An Unexpected Life
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!


The song the showgirls are dancing to goes, "Any city, near or far/ Feels twice as good as where you are/ When you're sick of the status quo..." It must suck when your work is a song that reminds you that you're not happy. Like I always felt so bad for Sheryl Crow, that one day she'd have to stand on stage singing about how all she wants to do is have some fun, and it wouldn't be true. At some point she was going to be faking her desire to have some fun; she was going to want other things. I cannot imagine what that is like.

There's two lines of chorus girls, I'm not sure about the distinction between them, but apparently it's a big deal. The first group, we're told, have been dancing their asses off for two hours, and then the separate group comes out five minutes from the end to flash their boobs. It would seem the first group is more stringently trained, but it seems -- to the uninitiated, at least, perhaps -- a matter less of type than degree. Nobody's really wearing a lot on that stage, in any case.

Michelle, of the former group: "That's all they do, twice a show! Walk out and stand there. And they get paid more."
(Something that sounds like feminism but isn't really feminism about how young girls are learning a good lesson from some showgirls but a bad lesson from other showgirls.)
Michelle: "It's not even about the face, half of 'em aren't even pretty. Mara over there looks like Muammar Gaddafi, but no one cares. She still gets paid more."

So what we've learned so far is that Michelle is a bitch. I guess when you're sick of the status quo that can happen. But I can't imagine Sheryl Crow saying something like that.

Afterwards, they talk about boob jobs. On ABC Family, just talking about buying tits. It would seem, Michelle reports, that each breast costs five to seven thousand dollars. Again, there's something with the cadence of feminism that is really just a conversation about fake tits: "If anything in the world should be sold as a pair, it should be boobs!"

But at least Mara is brave enough to call Michelle out on the awful thing she just said, which is pretty satisfying. So far Michelle is not really strutting her Lorelei charm, is she?

Her showgirl friend asks where she wants to get drunk tonight, and when Michelle turns her down she's like, "But we always get drunk on Tuesday!" Michelle, it turns out, has an audition for Chicago in the morning. Everybody's excited for her -- except, presumably, ugly old Mara -- and they talk about how Michelle's friend Jimmy Hewson got her the big break. You can already kind of tell it's not going to go well, but everybody's talking so fast and so much there's not really time to process what's going to happen next because of all that is already happening.

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