Movie Truck

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
The King In Yellow

Michelle? Still talking through the movie. And still drinking. Eventually, the Bunheads notice that Michelle is back there, a few feet away, drunkenly babbling.

Sasha: "I don't know if Michelle is regular cool or like narc-cool, but either way she can't see us at this movie! Now, remember a second ago when I said we had to go straight back to my house or the cops would come? Forget that, no longer the issue. Now, we have to watch the whole movie with Michelle standing a few feet away. That way, she won't notice us."
Girls: "We're cool with just doing whatever you say."


Mel spots Boo, who is sitting alone at a picnic table, just as she's getting attacked by Michelle screaming drunkenly about the movie, but before they can drag her home Charlie shows up and writes a number on her hand. Whose number? Some girl. See, he wants her to text him the number when she gets home.

You know, like how guys are always doing that after a movie date? Writing information on you? Always doin' that.


Michelle realizes she shouldn't drive when they find her car, so they talk about taking off their clothes and sleeping in the car, but Truly is not having it. Then this happens

Truly: "Cupcake ATM! In Los Angeles there is a pink ATM that dispenses all kinds of cupcakes 24 hours a day!"

They don't want to drive to LA, because they are drunk, but guess what about old Truly, she doesn't like to drink, so she was spitting each and every sip she took back into the bottle.

Quick, think of something more motherfucking sickening than that. Besides the deep-fried Charlie's Feet we were eating at the beginning of the episode, of course.

The showgirls pile into the car so Truly can drive them to LA (?) for ATM cupcakes (?), of course, instead of punching her in the box for being repulsive and then leaving her broken body at this mysterious carnival that just appeared halfway through the episode.


I'm sorry, but what the honest fuck? I really thought last week was a fluke, but this whole episode is so goddamn unhinged and bizarre it's like... Like Bunheads has it out for us in some way. There's a level of malevolence.

Like, you know those old stories, like Lovecraft or whatever, where there's a song or a book or a corner of a room that's so wrong and extradimensionally weird that if you look at it, your brain shits the bed forevermore and you partially go out into the lofty deeps and you start seeing alien intelligences and hearing ghost-crabs singing on the moon and there are rats with human faces, telling you secrets?

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