Money For Nothing

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 8 USERS: B-
The Smell Is Me

Boo jumps up and down on the garbage while the Child-Boss watches. He's a little too into it, if you know what I mean. It goes on for a really, really long time. Imagine jumping in the garbage of a seafood restaurant on a really hot day.


Melanie: "I have nothing going on in my life or my personality."
Sasha: "I'm a bitch mainly."
Boo: "I smell like seafood and stuff, because of jumping in the garbage for a man. He did not pay me extra for this activity."

I would like the show better this week if I knew this were leading to maybe Boo getting in over her head and she'd end up sitting on birthday cakes, or popping balloons, on the internet.


A grody man named Sal -- owner and operator of the quirky-as-shit store "Sal's Dancy Pants" -- has heard that Fanny is doing her twice-yearly payment of the hatboxes, and wants some of that sweet hatbox action for his dancy pants. He and Michelle discuss these fiscal matters, as well as saying the word "tush" a hundred times. It's fairly gross. Everything is pretty gross today. Sal is like jumping up and down in seafood garbage on a hot day with your mom jeans pulled up to your nipples. Your dancy pants.

What is going on inside Fanny's house is, the floor is covered with probably I would say about one hundred million different bills, and Truly is having a meltdown because she wants them to be in the computer and not on the floor, and then Michelle opens the door to get away from Sal and his far-too-dancy pants, and the bills go flying everywhere. I am not exaggerating the number of bills on the floor, but you know who is? This show. It's simply way too many pieces of paper, so the joke goes from being an okay joke to just some weird idea of a drunk mom.


Michelle follows Fanny through the grounds, where there are like picnic tables and geese scattered everywhere, so they can talk about how they don't have any money. See how that works? Kind of like how ten minutes of every episode of Gilmore was about watching them shovel food into Alexis Bledel's face, but she never got fatter. Or, come to think of it, how every episode of that show took place in a separate universe from every other episode, and sometimes Lorelei would be lining her shoes with newspaper and shit, and then the next episode she's be jetting off to Rome or dressing up in kooky costumes.

For an episode about how this one lady doesn't understand how money works, this show itself really doesn't seem to understand how money works. Michelle stomps away past the butler and the guesthouse kitchen staff and the playing cards that are painting the white roses red -- they planted white roses by mistake, it's a whole thing -- and back to her apartment. Which is infested with possums, remember, because they have no money but also all the money.

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