It's Not a Mint

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: A- | 1 USERS: B+
Backdraft En Pointe

Talia is upset because the fire means that Rick might not make it to Paradise. Meanwhile, Milly has butted her way to the front of the line to check-in. Then, in the course of asking for volunteers, Bash maybe reveals himself as a bisexual? He has two dads, so maybe he's just saying that everyone is great. I don't know. Anyway, Frankie volunteers and Bash gives him a t-shirt to change into. If Bash had seen Frankie with his shirt off, I don't think there would be anything bi about him. Jesus SMITH, he is cute. Ginny sees and can't take her eyes off of him...and, he catches her looking. I'd die.

The girls are hanging out on cots when Carl joins them. Jeff follows soon afterwards and the Tommy Lee impressions start up again. Wow, these are really painful. I wish I was there to do my Sissy. I'm not kidding, it's pretty good. Melanie shows up and takes a picture of the crew and Dez shows up and says that she should take the photo again without a flash, because Ansel Adams did. So, Dez is an idiot with a strong art history knowledge. There are weirder things happening in Paradise.

Michelle is trying to comfort Talia about the wedding who is trying comfort Truly, who is very invested because she has never been in a wedding and thinks that she never will again. Milly comes in asking for a place to set up her personal crepe station, but they chase her off. Then, Michelle finds a condom under one of the lockers in the studio! I say it belongs to Matisse. Or Jordan. Kidding.

Bash shows Michelle footage from the shelter across town. Their entertainment is evidently much better than what is happening in their own shelter. The girls and co. try to play cards but no one but Sasha is really into it. Michelle shows up and asks the girls to go grab some props. She's kind of bossy about it. When they leave, they move the boys' cots across the studio floor. She doesn't really explain. She just says that boys and girls are separated.

Talia finds out that a helicopter was sent to pick up Rick. The wedding is on again! The girls find some miner's helmets that Fanny used for a dance about Billy Elliot's father. And, the entertainment begins. Jeff and Carl do, you guessed, their Tommy Lee Jones impressions. They are not improving at all. At one point, Jeff directs his Hope Springs monologue to Boo, which Carl takes offense with. AND, they start fighting.

Luckily, there is more entertainment, in the shape of the kids doing a jazz routine in miner's helmets to Sparks' "I Predict." It is so awesome, guys. I LIVE FOR THIS. Ginny is front and center and obviously is a kick ass cheerleader. I can't stop watching this. I can't see Cozette in this. I'm sure she's there though, right?

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