It's Not a Mint

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: A- | 1 USERS: B+
Backdraft En Pointe
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We begin with big girl Sasha checking her mail and moving towards he door with parcels (she supplies her own bags at the grocer, very green) when she notices that her door is wide open. She tries to get Mrs. Weidemeyer to open her door, but she doesn't respond. She calls Ginny but gets her voicemail. She thinks there's a burglar. She calls Boo too. Voicemail again. At least she leaves a message. Then, she tries to get Siri to call the police but that damn thing wants to call everything else in Paradise with a P name.

Meanwhile, Michelle is eating fondue with Talia and Truly. Truly is being a sad sack. Talia is super excited because Rick is coming to Paradise with his best friend and they are getting married the next day. Talia and Rick -- not Rick and the best man. Sometimes English can really make you look like an idiot. Apparently, Talia and Rick are honeymooning at the very weird Madonna Inn. Have you seen this place? I would stay in the Imperial Family room because a) Imperial Bedroom is my second favorite Elvis Costello album and b) it looks like a bomb shelter and I find that to be a kind of touching metaphor for marriage. Talia goes over some of the reasons she is glad to leave performing and become a married lady. She can gain weight, she can enjoy New Years' Eve and she can get a Pekingese. They argue over what the breed actually looks like. I think Michelle's wrong. Talia says that performing is Michelle's "thing" and she won't miss it herself. Truly kind of butts her way into being Talia's maid of honor, though Michelle does nothing to stand in her way. That's kind of weird, right? It reveals some really cynical feelings our lady must have about marriage, though her previous experience with the institution doesn't suggest a real devotion either.

Roman shows up to help Sasha. They sneak into her apartment together. He checks the bathroom with an umbrella and we hear him wrestle with what must be the largest spider ever. Nice Annie Hall situation check there. They check the bedroom and there's nothing there either. She must have left the door open herself. Then, they realize that they are alone.... They kiss and just as they sit on the bed Boo's parents come screaming into the apartment. They got Sasha's message. They question who Roman is as they check everywhere in the apartment. Then, Boo comes in. Rusty goes into the bathroom with a sledgehammer. He's afraid of the spider too! Then, the Winkleburns come screaming into the apartment. Wait. I'm confused. Is that what we're calling Boo's little brothers or are those the kids that the little brothers play with? Where are the little brothers? And, Boo's mother is on bed rest! This can't be good for her.

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