I'll Be Your Meyer Lansky

Episode Report Card
Jeff Long: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Gangster Dance Squad
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

It's 8 AM and alarms are going off. Backed by Rocky-style exercise montage music, Michelle and Fanny both rise to greet the day. Michelle dunks her face in ice water while Fanny does yoga and jumps on one of those tiny trampolines. Michelle makes a smoothie that she takes one taste of and then dumps out the window. Not a fan of kale, I see. Man, whose idea was it for us to start drinking kale? Also, I guess they don't have bugs in Paradise, because no one seems to have screens on their windows. Michelle shows up at Fanny's door with two very large travel mugs. I'm assuming there is coffee in them. Or Hurricanes. Michelle swats ass on the Fanny as they walk out the door. I know, I know, it means something different in England.

Next, we see them struggling to stay awake as they listen to a financial advisor sort. They keep hitting each other to keep the other one awake. Finally, Michelle uses her fingers to prop her eyelids open, at which point the poor advisor dude is offended. He says that they are children and wasting his time. He points out that they don't charge half of their students for their lessons, which Michelle says is Fanny's fault. Then, he says that they managed to lose money on their annual fundraiser, which Fanny says is Michelle's fault. They both accept responsibility for closing down the studio when either one of them has as much as a bad day. The guy tells them that they need to make money, either through their business or their land. They don't know what to do with their land. Michelle educates everyone on what a sluicer is. That's how people pan for gold. How on earth she knows what a sluicer is but she doesn't know how to make an edible smoothie (as a DANCER for God's sake, don't they drink like two-thirds of their meals anyway? The other third they smoke) is beyond me.

At the high school, Melanie is bitching about health class. She's surprised that people even reproduced in the '70s (that's when their course material was made) because they had so much body hair. I mean, different strokes for different folks. They see Cozette holding court in the stairwell and its official, these girls are consumed with, if not jealousy, fascination at how quickly this girl has become the most popular person in the world. Aside from the narrative tool of making her more interesting by keeping her on the fringes for a little bit longer, it's strange that we always see her talking to people but never to our girls. Frankie is there too, drawing. Ginny gets nervous and wants to leave but Melanie wants to take a picture to see if they show up on her phone. That is really funny. She is sending the pic to Sasha and Boo. Ginny tells her to tell them about the laughter and the clapping and the rehearsed casual leaning. These girls mean business.

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