A Nutcracker In Paradise

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: B
Maybe This Time

Bunheads: "Well, fuck this. Ballet is not for us, apparently."
Sasha: "Do you think Madame Fanny actually replaced me? ...Oh, you're not talking to me. Fabulous."

Michelle comes in and babbles at them for awhile before noticing that they're being bitches -- justifiably -- to Sasha, and pulls everybody in for a talking-to.

Sasha: "Why me? I'm not in a fight!"
Michelle: "You need a fourth. Watch The Craft."

Eventually she stares at them hard enough that it bugs Sasha's ADD and she explains all the boring Bunhead subplots: "Boo likes Charlie, Charlie likes Ginny, Melanie says Ginny can't date Charlie because Boo liked him first, but Ginny thinks since Boo likes Carl she relinquishes Charlie, who should revert back to the open market. And me, I wish we were all lesbians."

Heard that. Michelle explains that they're jerks and this is a nothing fight, and if Boo likes Carl then she gets Carl and should forget Charlie, and meanwhile Ginny and Melanie will no longer discuss Charlie, which is fair I think. Mostly I'd like it if Melanie forgot her brother existed. The other Bunheads promise not to be total assholes about Carl from now on, and the last five episodes vanish with a whooshing sound. Melanie does not, but all in all it's a good meeting.

Michelle joins Sasha at the window, where she's staring at the Ringer with a sort of hunger. Michelle fakely pretends that she doesn't know who or what or whence the Ringer, in a fake enough way that she's really not pretending at all, and just telling Sasha to take it up with Fanny. Which would be fair even if this weren't the result of Fanny being scatterbrained, which makes it doubly fair. Sasha takes the stairs.

Sasha: "Madame Fanny."
Fanny, innocently: "Sasha! Goodness, I didn't hear you come in. How are you?"

Fanny pretends not to notice the whirling dervish in the center of the room, and Sasha finally recognizes her. By her powers, if not her face. Sasha's back is beautifully bent forward, all anger and supplication.

Sasha: "Did you call in the Ringer?"
Fanny: "I did! I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do! What do we do? I'm so scared of her!"

Turns out she's been shipped there for the week, and Fanny can't send her back because she is, in fact, basically just a regular person. She assures Sasha that she's going to be Clara, and figures she can just give her another part. How will that work?

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