A Nutcracker In Paradise

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: B
Maybe This Time

Michelle, still blind, addresses a bizarre cardboard standup of a nurse instead of a real nurse, about how she doesn't have time to be checked out medically because she maced the children and must make sure they're okay.

After work, Tyler is hilariously goth -- Bauhaus t-shirt, chain necklace, fifty wrist straps -- and also his name is Roman now. Sasha is happy to hear that he is crazy, and they chat.

Roman: "So what are you in for? I was in an intense mosh pit. My existence on this show is a tragedy in every way but one."
Sasha: "My ballet teacher maced us during a production of The Nutcracker."
Roman: "That is awesome!"
Sasha: "I know. Hey, how come you look like a goth from somebody's idea of a million years ago when that was relevant or funny, but now it's just kind of confusing?"
Roman: "I have gone through quite a few changes since the fundraiser where we met."
Sasha: "I lost my shit too."

When Fanny comes to find Michelle, the nurse asks if they are family. The answer is yes. They babble and talk over one another, but the answer is yes. She's satisfied.

Fanny: "So, how are ya?"
Michelle: "Face hurts."
Fanny: "Yes, large doses of self-inflicted pepper spray will do that to a person."
Michelle: "Yeah. I'm so sorry..."
Fanny: "Fuck that. You maced every person there. In my Nutcracker. You got the whole thing. Nailed every last dewdrop. I had to cancel the shows, two whole weeks canceled. Do you know how bad this is? I will be lucky if these parents don't drag me into court and have me flogged..."
Michelle: "They don't flog people in California."
Fanny: "You're a lawyer? You know the law?"
Michelle: "I know they don't flog..."
Fanny: "Well I don't know that, I'm not as wise and worldly as you are, I didn't live in Vegas and date gangsters. I should've known something like this would happen. Bad luck was in the air. When I got up this morning and Michael was gone just like that it was a sign."

Michelle doubles down, as they say leans into it, and explains about Montana. Fanny flips out on her, somewhat righteously/rightfully:

"You don't know me well enough by now to know that if I wanted him to know about the cabin, and my plans, and what I expected to happen, I would've told him myself? You are the bad luck! Ever since you got here, ever since Hubbell... You know what, fuck it."

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