Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Wild At Heart

Episode Report Card
Ace: D | 5 USERS: A-
Wild At Heart

It's near sunset, and Oz enters a crypt, locks himself in a cage, and takes off his shirt. Now if it were Angel disrobing, I would decry the gratuitous nudity, but since it's Oz, he's probably just concerned it will rip. We see a shot of a full moon and switch back to Were-Oz throwing himself against the door with all his might. This cage doesn't look as sturdy as the old one in the Sunnydale High library, and apparently it isn't. The door crashes open and Astro runs free into the night.

Professor Hardass is heading home for the night. As she is walking down the sidewalk she hears a rustle from the bushes. "Hello?" she queries, but gets no response. Suddenly Were-Oz leaps out at her. She screams and runs. Were-Oz gives chase. Professor Hardass engages in the tried-and-true but essentially useless ploy of throwing an inconsequential object at the monster -- in this case, her briefcase. She rounds a corner and stops short at the sight of another werewolf. This one has long hair, helpfully letting us know in the absence of other gender clues that it's a girl. Professor Hardass barely gets out of the way as the two werewolves throw themselves at each other in a snarling fight.

It's a peaceful morning with a clear blue sky as the camera comes to rest on a naked Oz. It must suck to wake up naked in an unfamiliar place with no recollection of the night before -- ummm, not that I would know how that feels. There is a stirring by Oz's shoulder and we see Veruca, who says, "Morning." I think I'm going to be sick now.

A very scratched-up Oz and Veruca wake up. Together. Naked. Leave me alone. I don't want to talk about it.

Oz and Veruca in a laundry room, committing petty theft. If this is a dorm laundry room, I do recall that students in my dorm thought nothing of leaving their clothes in the dryer all night, then complained when people stole their expensive designer underwear. Boo-hoo, cry me a river. Back to the action at hand: Veruca is kitted out in a black bra and tap pants and is displaying far more of herself then I ever wanted to see. Although, to be fair, all I ever wanted to see was her ass high-tailing it out of Sunnydale. Normally I'd be happy to see a girl on television who isn't a stick, so I hate to say this, but Veruca's body is very oddly shaped. She has no waist. I don't mean that she doesn't have a middle, because she does; it's just that it's as straight as a two-by-four. She also has a pale, flabby stomach. I know, I know, I'm one to talk, but you don't see me parading around half-naked on prime-time TV, do you? Just to be nice, I won't mention anything about her chunky thighs. Oops, did I say that out loud? As Veruca folds some striped orange-and-green shorts which appear to have been stolen from the set of In Living Color, she laments that the dorm residents "need Fashion 101 in a big way." I agree. Let's start with you, honey. She snits about Oz's outfit but he blows her off, saying that he just wants to go home and "figure out how we got out of our cages." Veruca scoffs at Oz for having a cage and says, "Man, somebody has domesticated the hell out of you." Oz corrects her that it is his choice. "Maybe," sniffs Veruca, "you just want to pretend that you're a regular guy." Oz reminds her that he is a regular guy, since he's only a wolf three nights a month. ["I disagree. I mean, if Oz is a regular guy, where's mine?" -- Sep] Veruca tells him that he is "the wolf all the time and [his] human face is just its disguise." Hey, V, mirrors show different things depending on who is looking in them. Oz attempts to leave, but not before Veruca's mandatory seduction attempt. Man, I am going to be sick. Seriously, I think I need to lie down. I'm gratified to see that Oz looks as disgusted as I feel. Oz turns her down flat, telling her that it's never going to happen again. Veruca starts to blather on about accepting his inner monkey-suit, er, werewolf and tells him that soon he will start to pity normal humans because they aren't as "alive" as werewolves. Isn't that remarkably similar to a serial killer's usual line of reasoning? Blah blah. Oz holds his moral ground. Veruca reveals more psychotic tendencies. I realize that I've only ever seen this actress play stalkers. Hmmm, typecasting maybe?

Buffy overtakes Professor Hardass and Riley as they walk down the hall. The Professor tells Buffy to be careful at night because she was attacked by two giant wild dogs. How anyone could mistake those crappy werewolf suits for dogs is beyond me, but whatever. Buffy realizes that Oz must have gotten free. Buffy says that she was just saying hello and runs off to find Giles.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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