Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The Yoko Factor (1)

Episode Report Card
The Yoko Factor (1)

Out in the hallway, Buffy starts yelling at Angel, ending with, "I would really like to know what the hell you think you were doing." Angel replies that he was "trying to make things better." This breaks the ice and makes them both chuckle. In a nutshell, Angel explains his beating Riley up and apologizes for everything, Buffy makes a half-assed attempt at an apology herself, they agree for the five-hundred-millionth time that they probably shouldn't see each other anymore, and in doing so they actually manage to have more chemistry together than anyone that Buffy has been romantically paired with this season, except for Spike.

Speak of the devil. Or at least the naughty little emasculated cutie. Spike comes striding into FrankenFlash's cave and chucks an empty beer can in the corner. He tells Adam that he was successful in implementing the Yoko Factor. He's stirred enough turds with the Slayerettes to alienate them from each other, each blaming the other members of the group for their estrangement. In return Spike wants his "chipectomy" now, but FrankenFlash tells him that he needs one more thing. Spike gives him a puzzled look, and we go to commercial.

Back in Buffy's room, Buffy tells Riley that she has something to tell him and suggests he sit down. He tells her that if he's going to break his heart to do it quickly. Buffy looks confused, then tells him that she and Angel aren't getting back together and wants to know why Riley thought that. "I don't know, Xander --" begins Riley. At the mention of Xander's name, Buffy says that he is "the deadest man in deadonia." Riley says it's not Xander's fault and explains their conversation. Riley goes on to account for his actions, and Buffy finally corrects his misassumption that Angel is evil again. "Well, there you go, even when he's good he's all Mr. Billowy-Coat King of Pain," continues Riley undeterred, worried that girls love that kind of thing. Apparently, they love it so much that Angel got his own show, which isn't a fate you'll have to worry about, Bland Boy. Buffy interrupts him and leads him to sit down on the bed. She tells Riley of Forrest's demise. Riley just sits slumped with his head in his hands. Buffy assures Riley that they will destroy Adam, and Riley suddenly monotones that he has to go now and takes off.

"It's still encrypted," says Willow over at Fort Giles. The camera focuses on the computer screen, and I hate to break it to Willow but she's trying to crack a screensaver. "Willow's working really hard on it," says the official spokesperson of Willow's PR department, a.k.a. Tara. Buffy is impatient for the information contained on the disks and seems upset that Willow hasn't cracked them yet. Buffy paces over to Xander and Anya, who are lounging on the couch, and doesn't notice the annoyed look Willow flashes at her back. It appears that Giles has been drinking steadily, and he mumbles something about Latin in the kitchen which I'm sure is very funny, but my closed captioning didn't catch it. Anya chastises Buffy because Xander worked very hard delivering clothes to Riley, and Buffy halfway apologizes and starts formulating a plan out loud. She wants to go back to the cave to see if Adam is still there. Willow gets up from the desk to admonish Buffy for wanting to face Adam alone, saying that he might rip Buffy's arms off. Giles slurs something about how Buffy doesn't train with him anymore, but if she did, he would kick her ass. Hee! Xander stands and calls to Giles for a round of weapons. Buffy nixes that idea and denies Xander permission to go. Because she's in charge, you see. Xander shoots her a pissed-off look and grumbles about being left behind in the Bat Cave to play with Alfred while she and Willow take care of business. Giles, gesturing with his drink, reminds Xander that nobody would mistake him for Alfred because Alfred was gainfully employed. Well, gee, Giles, whose fault is that? It's not like we've even seen you looking for a job. Buffy informs everyone that she is going to go alone. This pisses Willow off even more, and I must say, hasn't Buffy learned the "friends are good and helpful" lesson countless times before? Xander suggests that he can help by getting Buffy some "fightin' pants" and having seen what his idea of stealthy attire is, I can't say I would trust him with the job. We see Tara and Anya filing off down the hallway as Buffy snits that Willow and Xander aren't helping. Willow grouses that they're already getting in the way, and Xander says that they might have to ship him off to the Army so he isn't a hindrance anymore. "The Army?" questions Buffy. Xander believes that it is Buffy and Willow who are talking behind his back, but Willow corrects him, saying that Xander and Buffy are the ones actually talking behind her back. Only she says it much funnier. Xander: "Well, maybe that all changes when I'm over doing sit-ups over at Fort Dix." At the mention of Fort Dix, Giles chokes on his scotch and laughs uproariously. This causes the gang to stare at him, and Buffy asks him if he's drunk. "Quite a bit, actually," he replies. "Well, stop," orders Buffy. Nah, don't stop, Giles, just move the party over to my place. Buffy proclaims the situation stupid, a comment which Xander takes it personally. She tries to explain that she needs them "all the time, just not now." Willow wants to know exactly how Buffy needs them, and Buffy replies that she's "good with the computer stuff. Usually. And there's the witch stuff." Willow frostily asks Buffy what she means by "witch stuff." Buffy shakes her head and says that everything is crazy. "Oh no it's not," says Giles as he walks towards the desk. "It's all finally making perfect sense and I'm not going to miss a moment of it," he finishes as he tries to sit down but misses the chair and falls out of the scene.

Cut to Anya and Tara, who have gone to hide out in the bathroom. Can't say I blame them, either. Tara asks Anya if she thinks the gang will be fighting for long. Anya isn't sure. Tara ventures that the bathroom is nice, and Anya agrees that she likes the tile. Poor Tara. Stuck in the bathroom with Anya.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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