Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Ace: B- | 5 USERS: A-
Vengeance! Plague! Death! Confusion!

Previously on Buffy: "Triangle" in Season Five told us that Anya once dated a man whom she turned into a troll. Willow came back to Sunnydale, and Anya gave her a recap of events so far. Spike-in-the-basement was all whacked out and crazy. Anya went back to vengeance, but her coworkers felt her job performance was sub-par.

Summers house at night. Dawn is giving Willow the full benefit of her experience with a week or so of high school: "My advice to you is: do exactly what everyone else does." As she helps Willow fold clothes and place them in a dresser in Buffy's old room, Dawn continues her mantra of fitting in, which includes wearing the same thing as everyone else and generally to simply "nod and smile." That's really the best advice one human can give another, isn't it? Willow is indulgent of the advice and reminds Dawn that she has been to college before. Buffy and Xander enter the room, carrying boxes. I guess they've retrieved Willow's stuff from Sunnydale Temporarily Evil Discount Storage, or wherever you store the effects of your friends who have sucked up all available knowledge of black magic and tried to destroy the world. Buffy asks if Xander has spoken to Anya recently; he hasn't since "Same Time, Same Place." Xander wants to call Anya, and when Buffy warns him not to get his hopes up, he unconvincingly insists that he's enjoying being a single guy. Then he confesses that he worries about Anya because she seems so sad, and Willow and Dawn, who have been unpacking in the background, join in the conversation. "She should try acting like everybody else more," suggests Dawn (I think she means everyone else besides creatures from the realm of the fantastic here), and I want Dawn and Buffy to consider co-writing an advice column for the school paper, what with their vital advice about conforming at all costs and having no hope. Buffy hasn't really picked up on Anya's "sad vibe" and is more concerned about her "vengeance vibe." Xander protests that Anya just "turned back to what she knew" when he dumped her at their wedding. He claims that Anya's heart isn't in vengeance anymore, and with some time, she'll return to the fold of people who just fantasize about violent revenge and don't actually have the magical power to act on it. "It'll just take some time. I really think she's coming around," he opines.

Because TV is the kind of place where a blunt statement like Xander's would be oh so uninteresting unless immediately directly contradicted, we cut to a dead guy lying on the floor. Slow camera pan around a scene of mayhem -- eleven, maybe more, young people lie sprawled around a room, all dead, splattered with blood, and with a large gory wounds in their chests. Blood puddles across a pool table. The camera finds Anya slumped against the wall in the dark. She stares blankly. Her white retro dress is covered in blood, as are her hands, which lie limply in her lap. "What have I done?" she breathes. From a distance, the ethical dilemma of the week approaches.

After the commercial, a man and a woman wearing khaki Trading Spaces shirts enter the frat house, along with a tall, rather svelte woman with an expensive-looking haircut who says, "Okay, we've had some time to clean up a bit, now let's start taking up this bloodied carpet and see what's underneath!" Heh. I made that up. I can just see Frank painting the sub-floor red and tossing down a few rag rugs as a solution for the problem, though.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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