Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Ace: D | 5 USERS: A-

Spike, with his blankie drawn up over his head, is doing a Little Match Girl outside a window. He stares sadly inside at a touching tableau of vampires feeding on a helpless young man. Sad, sad music plays as Spike observes the other vamps enjoying what he cannot. I was quite effectively manipulated into feeling sorry for Spike here. Hee hee.

Buffy and Willow are walking down a Sunnydale street, and Willow is reminding Buffy that she already has whipped cream. Willow is wearing yet another horrible outfit, this one consisting of a gray baggy sweater with a big peace sign on the front (so 1988), a pastel ankle-length skirt, and black boots. Buffy says she wants to whip the cream herself rather than use canned, and mentions that later she will be seeing Father Gabriel. Riley comes running up to the girls, looking sweaty and greasy in a zipper hoodie sweatshirt. His hair is so flat that he must have had the hood up prior to his entrance into the scene. Willow makes an obvious "subtle" exit into the coffee shop to give Buffy and Riley a chance to talk. As she enters the café, I can tell that she's quite obviously wearing some sort of bulky remote mike under her sweater at the small of her back. Willow walks around a corner in the café, and Angel leaps out and grabs her. She starts to shout but he covers her mouth with his hand and we can hear her mumble, "Angel! You're all evil again!" He assures her that he's not evil but rather has come to help Buffy. Willow tells him to inform Buffy, but again he says he can't. Willow launches into a little tirade about people leaving for other people's good, and giving up on things just because there are obstacles. Angel stops her, and she admits that she was talking about her own problems. She starts to ask him about the horror of working with Cordelia, but Angel says he doesn't have time to discuss personal stuff. He then looks at Buffy talking with Riley and morosely asks, "Who's that guy?" Buffy is still on the street, explaining her Thanksgiving plans to Riley. She invites him to dine at Giles's but he says he has to go home to Iowa, and then proceeds to tell folksy tales of Thanksgiving with his parents and grandparents. Ugh. Riley better watch out in case his mom mistakes his nose for one of the dinner yams. "What the line?" says Riley, "'Home is the place that when you have to go there --'" "'They have to take you in,'" finishes Buffy.

"Get out!" exclaims Harmony and approaches Spike, who is limply propped against a wall in her cave. She's wearing a red-and-blue-striped sleeveless turtleneck sweater and a short red skirt and is really, really looking like Tori Spelling. Really. The resemblance is actually eerie. Harm continues to stick up for herself and tells Spike that they're through, but he takes her in his arms and begins to kiss her shoulders. She weakly says he should go, but he picks her up and puts her on the bed. He begins to stroke her legs, then reaches up under her skirt. Just before they kiss, she scoots away from him and exclaims, "I'm powerful and I'm beautiful, and I don't need you to complete me," grabs a stake from under the mattress and finishes, "And you're mean!" Spike quickly rolls off the bed and tells Harmony how dangerous a stake is. She reminds him that he actually staked her in the past; he agrees to leave but asks pathetically, "Can I have someone to eat?" She brandishes the stake again and he flees.

Buffy walks quietly through a church, calling to Father Gabriel. She exits outside just in time to see Father Gabriel hanging from a noose with the Chumash Indian slicing off his ear. She races towards them and attacks Buckskin Guy. They fight, and he throws her to the ground and tells her, "I am vengeance. I am my people's cry. They call for Hus, for the avenging spirit to carve out justice." ["Nice to see that the Chumash Spirit Avenger had those Berlitz English tapes tucked away in the nether world with him. And let's not even mention that the Chumash weren't warlike in the least." -- Sep] ["Hmm, maybe Buffy has some sort of Universal Demon Translator, like on Star Trek. Or maybe not." -- Ace] Buffy fires off a quip about his "ear collection," and they fight some more. She turns his knife towards his throat and he defiantly says killing him must be a great day for her. She releases him, and he turns into a flock of crows and flies away.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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