Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Living Conditions

Episode Report Card
Ace: D | 3 USERS: B
Living Conditions

That night Buffy is in her room, chewing gum and bitching to Willow on the phone about what a pain Kathy is. Willow tries to make excuses for Kathy, and we see her in her room where a huge party is raging. Poor Willow gets hit in the head with a Nerf football. Buffy quickly gets off the phone as Kathy enters the room and nags Buffy about logging her calls. I'm under the impression that Willow lives in the same dorm and there's no way that would be a toll call. Kathy plops down on her bed and begins flossing her teeth. Buffy looks grossed out and takes an apple from her bag to place in the dorm fridge. She opens the fridge to see that Kathy has neatly labeled all her food with her name in block letters. Even a tray of hard boiled eggs has "Kathy" written on each and every one. ["That's when I knew she was evil. I don't trust anyone with that many eggs." --Sep] Behind Buffy, Kathy closes the window over Buffy's bed. Buffy shoves her apple onto a shelf and turns to notice that the window is shut. She opens it back up and sits on her bed. Kathy reaches for her book, which turns out to be stuck to the table with gum; she demands to know who put gum there, and Buffy sarcastically suggests, "Gum gnome?" In the battle of Buffy vs. Kathy, I'm going to have to go with stray gum being grosser than flossing. Sorry, Buffy, you lose a point. Both girls turn off their lights and huff under the covers. As she sleeps, Buffy has creepy dreams about the orangey demon pouring blood down her throat, putting a scorpion on her belly, and sucking a vapor out of her mouth. The scorpion is one of those huge black shiny ones, and my sister points out that some poor stunt woman actually had that thing crawling on her bare belly. We both squeal. I'm not too squeamish usually but scorpions are way, way beyond the pale. Once, when I was working for the evil lawyer at her house, I scooted my office chair and heard a yucky crunch. I looked down to see a squished scorpion there under the chair, right next to my sandal-clad foot. I still shudder thinking about it. I wore boots to work every day after that. Buffy awakes the next morning and Kathy asks, "Do you always make that noise when you sleep?"

Buffy is sitting with Giles, Oz, and Willow in the lobby of the student union, explaining her ishy demon dream. She says the worst part was waking up to Kathy staring at her, but Oz ventures that the worst part was the demon pouring blood down her throat. Willow is wearing one of her trademark ugly ponchos, this one a dingy gray with a wide-open weave. I avert my eyes and moan, "Why, why, why?" As Giles tells Buffy to interpret her dream, Kathy walks up and barges into the conversation, asking if Giles can read dreams. Buffy introduces Giles to Kathy, and Willow amends, "He's our grownup friend. N-not in a creepy way." Kathy sits down and explains the dream she had the night before, which sounds a lot like Buffy's. Oz asks if the dream contained scorpions and blood, and when Kathy, surprised, asks him how he knew, he replies, "Well, I'm a good guesser." Buffy quite bitchily says that Kathy needs to be on her way to class and when Kathy responds that Buffy must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed, Buffy replies, "And guess what? You were next to it." Kathy says that she does need to go and gets in a dig at "someone" for keeping her up all night. She leaves, chirping, "Toodles!" Giles looks intrigued and starts to try to discuss Kathy's dream, but Buffy interrupts with a stream of bitching about Kathy's mooching and flossing. Willow looks confused, and Giles asks Buffy to focus on the issue at hand. He suggests that the nightmares stem from encountering the demon in the woods. A flip Buffy tells the gang that she's going to class and that they can take care of "the brain thing." Oz suggests that going to class could "also be construed as the brain thing," but Buffy says she's minoring in "Napping 101." Good luck minoring in a class. After Buffy has left, Willow suggests that they've been dealing with Buffy's evil twin and that she was almost resembling Cordelia in her behavior. Giles agrees that Buffy is acting strangely but suggests that perhaps it's just the strain of adjusting to having a roommate. He says they shouldn't be too concerned, but he looks just that.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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