Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Lie To Me

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 7 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
We'll Always Have Hemery

Library. Buffy enters, along with Giles and Miss Calendar. Buffy apologizes for beeping them, but Giles tells her she did the right thing, a little too enthusiastically. Miss Calendar picks up on that. "You hated it that much?" Giles hems and haws, and Miss Calendar good-naturedly says he could have just said something. Giles: "Honestly, I've always, I've always, been interested in, in, uh, monster trucks." Hee! You pretty much have to tell that joke with Giles, but it's still hilarious. Buffy can't believe it, but Miss Calendar says she thought it would be a change. Giles thieves the Nobel Prize for diplomacy away from the history teacher as he agrees, "It was a change." Miss Calendar points out that they could have left. Giles: "What, and miss the nitro-burning funny cars? No, couldn't have that." Hee.

Buffy gets them back on track, saying that the vamps were there with a purpose. Although that seems like a reasonable conclusion, I'd point out that it doesn't jive with her attitude in a similar situation in "What's My Line? Part One." She exposits that she sent Ford home, and starts to mention how he killed a vamp, but trails off upon seeing a photograph (I'm not getting into the "can vamps be photographed?" debate here) of Drusilla. Miss Calendar notices Buffy's reaction, and asks what's wrong. Buffy asks Dru's identity, and Giles tells Buffy her name, that she's a "sometime paramour of Spike's," and that she was killed by an angry mob in Prague. Buffy notes that they don't make angry mobs like they used to, and explains that she saw Drusilla with Angel. Miss Calendar suggests they read up on Dru, and Giles is going to fetch a volume from his office when the female vamp from earlier appears in the office doorway. She throws Giles into Buffy, and runs out through the stacks. Giles exclaims that she took one of his books, and Buffy realizes that it was the vamp Ford said he killed.

Factory. Dru is trying to get a dead bird in a cage to sing. I scream, "It is an ex-parrot!" Spike's voice cuts in, saying he heard a funny thing, namely that she went out hunting "the other night." Dru says that she was hungry. Spike pointedly asks if she met anyone, "like Angel." He asks what they talked about, saying it's a little off that they were so friendly. Not that Dru was thinking this, but perhaps it behooved her to be nice since, in her current physical condition, she wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell in a fight with Angel? Dru loons on to the dead bird, but Spike takes pity on all of us by explaining that she didn't feed it and now it's dead. Dru whimpers, and Spike quickly apologizes, saying that he just doesn't like her going out while she's weak. Ford's voice cuts in, interrupting their tender (read: sick-making) moment, saying that the place is "so cool." Spike grandly asks if he has anyone on watch, or if they just found a "restaurant that delivers." Ford says that he knows who Spike is, and that he came looking for him. Spike's unimpressed, and speculates that Ford has a death wish. The female vamp appears and hands Spike the book, which he says will be very useful. As groundwork for a later episode. Remember when they did that? Spike absently asks how Ford found him. Followed the trail of peroxide? Ford says it doesn't matter, and that he has a deal for Spike. He then blathers about some action-movie convention. That's enough to make Spike grab him, but Dru, apparently psychically privy to Ford's plan, warns Spike off. Ford explains that he wants to become a vampire. Spike says he's known Ford two minutes and he already can't stand him, and that he doesn't "feature" Ford living forever. Ford beats me to the punch by saying, "Feature this!" He offers Spike a trade. "You make me a vampire, and I give you the Slayer." Spike's mouth broadens into a smile.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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