Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Lie To Me

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 7 USERS: A-
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We'll Always Have Hemery

Buffy searches the place for another way out. Ford tells her that it's a bomb shelter, and there's no way out. She begs him to let the others go, but they tell her it's what they want. Chantarelle asks her if she can't see that it's a beautiful day for them. Time to duck, because Buffy's not pulling any punches for the rest of the episode, evidenced by this gem of an exchange:

Buffy: What I see is that right after the sun goes down Spike and all of his friends are going to be pigging out at the all-you-can-eat moron bar.
Drearego: Okay, that's it. I think we should gag her.
Buffy: I think you should try.
Drearego: She's an unbeliever! She taints us.
Buffy: I am trying to save you! You are playing in some serious traffic here, do you understand that? You're going to die, and the only hope you have of surviving this is to get out of this pit right now, and my God, could you have a dorkier outfit? [Drearego's all, "The hell?" Chantarelle smirks.]
Ford: I gotta back her up, D. You look like a big ninny.

Hee! Ford's beeper goes off, and he announces that it's 6:27, and sunset. I hate (and by "hate," I mean "love") to nitpick, but in "Halloween," it was fully dark before 6:00, when the kids were supposed to be back at school. Buffy looks around, starting to panic.

Factory. Spike's barking orders: spread out, two vamps on the door, first priority is the Slayer. He tells everyone to remember to share, which sounds like something the Mayor would say. He asks Dru if she's sure she's up to this, but she says she needs "a treat." How about a dialogue coach, on me? Spike tells "Lucius" to bring the car around.

Buffy runs back up the stairs. Ford marvels that she never gives up. Just wait until the end of "Spiral." He muses that they have a lot in common, but Buffy snits that he's the bad guy. She declares that the rest of the kids aren't going to be changed, that they're just fodder. Ford acknowledges that, but says that he will become immortal. Buffy tells him that's not how it works, calling him, extremely ironically in light of his imminent revelation, "brain trust." She explains that he'll die, and his body will be taken over by a demon, who will look and sound like him, and even remember his life, but won't be him. Ford quietly says it's better than nothing. Buffy asks if his life is nothing, and he smirks bitterly. She goes on that the kids don't deserve to die. Ford blurts: "Well, neither do I! But apparently no one took that into consideration 'cause I'm still dying." Buffy looks stunned. Looks like that shot of Absolut Morality didn't go down too well! Ford goes on that he's got at most six months to live, and that he's in constant agony from the "nest of tumors liquefying [his] brain." Buffy turns away, and he sarcastically says he's sorry for ruining her "righteous anger riff." Buffy turns back to him, and sincerely apologizes, saying she had no idea. "But what you're doing is still very wrong." Ford doesn't want to hear that, and, voice dripping with contempt, says that the others are sheep, and just want to be vampires because they're lonely and bored. He, on the other hand, doesn't have a choice. Buffy points out that he does have a choice, although not a good one, and that nothing he says will make mass murder okay. Ford disbelievingly asks if she thinks he needs to justify himself to her, but she scarily astutely bites out, "I think this is all part of your little fantasy-drama! Isn't this exactly how you imagined it? You tell me how you've suffered and I feel sorry for you. Well, I do feel sorry for you, and if those vampires come in here and start feeding I'll kill you myself." Ford huskily replies that he really did miss her, which is tantamount to admitting that her analysis was spot-on. And I'm sorry for the paucity of jokes, but this is pretty heavy stuff here. They stare at each other, but are interrupted by the sound of a car pulling up outside.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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