Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Into The Woods

Episode Report Card
Sep: B | 2 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Into The Woods

The next morning, Joyce is gazing at her reflection in the mirror. Now I know why Dr. Doom looked like he had just come in from a costume party. Joyce has the teensiest tiniest little gauze bandage that has a mere hint of fake blood on it. It looks like they could have used one of those useless weenie Band-Aids to cover her brain surgery scar. Did they remove her tumor through a freakin' pore or something? Buffy tries to sell her mom on a wig, but I really don't see why Joyce needs a wig; it doesn't even look like they shaved her head. Joyce tries to change the subject and tells Buffy that she should go relax with Riley. Buffy tells her that she sent Riley off to go hang with his friends. Huh? Riley has friends? Since when? "Besides," Buffy continues, "I'm sure he'll come over later looking for a little…bible study," she hastily corrects herself. "Good," says Joyce with a small smile, "just as long as the two of you are spending some quality time…with the Lord." Bwa ha ha!

So now we're in a cheap hotel room with a bunch of military guys that are in no way the Initiative. In fact, they're the INot!tiative. Although I'd really like to know what branch of the military operates out of Motel 6. A transmission comes through, and Graham monotones to another black-outfitted military guy that there's a nest of demons in Belize that needs taking care of. The senior guy flatlines to Graham that he should get the men ready, and Graham suggests that they try to recruit Riley.

Buffy lies snuggled in her bed when the door to her room is opened by Spike. She stirs and asks, "Riley?" Upon discovery of Spike, Buffy bolts up and delivers mandatory threat number one. Spike retorts, "I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a good reason. As usual I'm here to help you and are you naked under there?" Buffy delivers mandatory threat number two. Spike's tone grows serious as he tells her that "I want to show you something. You need to see this." Buffy sighs in irritation and then gives Spike a look until he turns around. He protests, "Oh please, like I give a bloody damn," but it's clear from the expression on his face that being so close to a naked Buffy is absolute torture.

Spike leads Buffy to the same nondescript building we saw Riley entering earlier. Buffy looks around with a confused expression, but follows Spike up the stairs. He holds the door for her. Aw. Somebody must have raised him right. He's already a lot more polite than the last guy I went out with. Hmmm. If I am looking to Spike as a model of good comportment, perhaps I ought to reconsider my choice of dates. Inside, we see it's very dirty and shabby, with mattresses and debris all over the place. In the background, there are a whole bunch of people engaging in some sort of transaction. Spike lets us know that some of them are vampires by saying, "Don't start slaying. This isn't what we're here for." He wiggles an eyebrow at the staircase, and they ascend. Upstairs, there's more crud strewn about. Buffy looks apprehensive and stops until Spike nods at a nearby ajar door. She pushes through to find a shirtless Riley, half in shadow, with a vamp girl sucking on his arm. "Harder," he growls at her. Buffy makes that funny little noise from the preview. Cracks me up every time I hear it. Did Spike poke her in the kidney or something?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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