Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I Was Made To Love You

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Luring disco dollies to a life of vice

Somewhere else in Sunnydale, April is knocking on doors, looking for Warren at 3:30 in the AM. Man alive. I never thought I'd see anyone with less of a sense of appropriate unannounced visiting behavior than someone in a missionary-based religion.

In Der Zauber Kasten, Willow is clicking away on the PowerBook, trying to narrow down the Warren list, and Xander comments on April's attractiveness. You may have noticed that I haven't been able to bring myself to mention either Buffy's repeated amusement at Spike's defenestration nor Anya's constant "I am so NOT a jealous girlfriend. See? See? SEE?" comments. Having all of those reiterations in the same episode made me very, very sad. Like we can't be expected to take note of something that's only said ONCE. Or even just shown. Next week I fully expect to have running commentary a lá TRL scrolling along the bottom of the screen to remind us of the salient plot and character development points. Buffy has turned into a Cliff's Notes version of itself. Willow finds a Warren that went to Sunnydale High School with them before going to ITT Tech in nearby Dutton. He has parents who still live in town, and Tara posits that he's home on spring break. Buffy takes off to go talk to him, but not before a thousand anvils crash through the ceiling and fall on Buffy's head.

From the training room, Buffy picks up the phone a few times, fingering the paper with Ben's number on it. She dials and…

…cut to a sweaty, Greasy Intern Ben, who has just morphed from Glory while the phone was ringing. Maybe he has the corporeal equivalent of call forwarding? He picks up, and Buffy asks him to go to coffee. They make a date for the next evening. After he hangs up, the camera follows his gaze downward to see the red strapless dress Ben is wearing. He makes a disgusted noise, as red does not suit him and he much prefers the mauve taffeta.

Warren frantically stuffs items in a duffel bag as Katrina, the girl he hauled out of the spring-break party, wonders why he's in such a hurry to leave Sunnydale. After he tells he she can call his mom from the road to explain their departure, Katrina, sensibly dressed in slacks with her hair in a messy French braid, asks if there's something he doesn't want to see. Pulling open the front door, Warren and Katrina find Buffy outside, her hand raised to knock. Buffy says she needs to talk to Warren. Warren asks, "Is this about her?" and Katrina gets to don the Captain Obvious cap this week when she exclaims, "Something's going on here!" Uh duh. Warren tells Katrina to be quiet and wait in the kitchen, which would probably have earned a killing glare and a concise "fuck you" from me. Instead, Katrina asks Warren to send Buffy away. They argue about his keeping secrets from her, and Warren finally snaps, "Katrina, shut up!" Oooh -- words you never, ever say to me unless you want to see the sharp side of my hand colliding with your face and then my ass as I head out the door. I hold my breath, waiting to see Katrina's reaction. Yay! She sets her jaw, tells him she's gone, and stomps out the still open front door. Buffy shrugs and then introduces herself, asking if Warren knows who she is. He says he does, and then inquires if April has hurt anyone. "No one who matters," quips Buffy. An anvil smashes me in the face, knocking off my glasses. My cat chases them under the couch, and Ash looks up briefly from his laptop to ask if I'm okay. Warren explains that April followed him to Sunnydale, and Buffy gives him a "duh" face. Warren tells Buffy there's something she must know about April; Buffy replies that she already knows. He says she can't possibly know, and this "comedy" goes back and forth until Warren dramatically declares, "[April's] a robot!" "Uh huh," replies Buffy, because y'know, she already knew that.

Der Zauber Kasten. Xander, Tara, and Willow have apparently just filled Dawn in on the robotness of the plot this week. In a "continuity yay" moment, Dawn wonders if April is any relation to second-season robot Ted. Willow assures her that April is a whole new robot and Xander opens the shop's front door. In rushes Spike, covered in a flaming blanket. He rushes past Giles and throws the blanket to the floor, stomping out the flames. The Scoobies silently gather round as Spike looks at them and asks, "What's goin' on then?" Throwing down his dusting cloth, Giles sternly replies, "Spike, you're not welcome here." Willow chimes in that they're working on a way to reverse his invite into the store, even though it's a public place. Xander and Anya express their wish to toss Spike out into the street, "like the robot did." Spike shakes his head at the information that April was a robot and then attempts to turn on the charm to Dawn: "Someone's glad to see me! Aren't you, little bit?" Hiding behind Tara's shoulder, Dawn refuses to make eye contact but resentfully tells Spike to stay away from her; Tara tells him to leave. Laughing, Spike says he was afraid things would go like this. He's not sure what sort of "misrepresentations" or "allegations" Buffy told them, but actually he and Buffy worked side by to "get rid of Dru." Well, I recall that they stood aside by side as Dru sulked and ran off, but then Buffy turned to Spike and decked him into a cave wall. He's continuing in a vain attempt to talk his way of out last week's events when Giles approaches him and quietly says, "Spike, listen to me." Uh oh, Giles took off his glasses -- I think he means business. Spike tries to brush Giles off, which causes Giles to come over all manly and forceful. He shoves Spike backwards into a cabinet and threatens, "We are not your friends. We are not your way to Buffy. There is no way to Buffy." He picks up Spike's blanket and tells him to get over this thing. "Move the hell on," he finishes, shoving Spike's blanket into his chest. Spike pauses as if he's going to say something but, wrapping the blanket over his head, he walks out of the store past Xander and Willow.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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