Buffy the Vampire Slayer
First Date

Episode Report Card
Ace: C | Grade It Now!
More like "last date"

Tiny Evil Jonathan says that Andrew is the only person in the house who Buffy is making "seek redemption," which isn't fair. No, Buffy isn't making Andrew seek redemption -- she just doesn't give a fuck about him. It's very similar to her attitude to Anya, actually. Willow fares a little better, and Spike the best of all, because Buffy apparently has decided the moon rises out of his ass or something. Tiny Evil Jonathan advertises the upcoming big fight between ineffectual, incorporeal, holiday-taking Evil and the forces of Good that's supposed to have us all on the edges of our seats until May sweeps, and advises Andrew to choose the winning side. First Jonathan reveals that he wants Andrew to "hurt the girls." But none of the ones in the credits. Because then we might care. Nope, Andrew's just supposed to kill the mostly-invisible-for-the-past-few-episodes Slayers in training. "The girls must die," explains the First over Andrew's protests, and I have to say, I'm with it on that. Go evil, choose evil! Tiny Evil Jonathan wants Andrew to fetch Willow's gun for some shootin'.

Buffy and Anya are in the bathroom. Anya scrubs away at Buffy's shirt and says, "I don't think it's really a date." Blather about Buffy's shirt, which Anya decides she can't fix. Then Anya explains she was actually talking about Xander's upcoming humiliation. She thinks it's a ploy to make her jealous, and she's very upset about it. Emotional discussions that aren't about Spike make Buffy uncomfortable, so she leaves.

Oh, good choice, because in the hallway she runs into Spike, who is not bothered at all by the bright sunlight streaming through the windows at both ends of the hall, because it's just too inconvenient for the writers to remember that he's a vampire, because they're all too busy swooning over his cheekbones and doodling "Spike + Buffy" into the memo pads on their Blackberries. Or possibly, the rules only apply if you're a nameless hench-vamp. If you're a vamp in the credits, you can walk down main street at high noon with a sheer pink parasol and be just fine. Vamps in the credits have special privileges in their contracts, like "indirect sunlight okay" and "vamp make-up only during sweeps." Spike, who seems to have been sneaking tranquilizers out of the medicine cabinet, drones that he's all fine and dandy and noble about Buffy going out with another man. She advises him to try dating too, as if that's really feasible for a freakin' vampire in his condition. Bitch. Buffy leaves to get dressed. Spike broods, or enjoys his downer-induced coma. One or the other. Vampire with a soul nobly suffers and tells his Slayer ex-girlfriend to be happy dating a human guys? WOW! I have never seen a plot like that before! This is groundbreaking storytelling we're witnessing here. I'm so glad ME decided to take Buffy in this new direction -- we're sure to learn so much about her character with this novel estranged, besouled vampire lover storyline. Yes, that was sarcasm. Poor Season Three Spike would be so embarrassed to know he'd end up with Angel's sloppy seconds, in terms of both partner and plot.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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