Buffy the Vampire Slayer
First Date

Episode Report Card
Ace: C | Grade It Now!
More like "last date"

Sep: Seventy percent of the total Chinese population speaks Mandarin. What we refer to as "Cantonese" is a group of Yue dialects (Yue is spoken by about five percent of total population). Mandarin is supposed to be the medium of instruction in schools, but this is difficult to implement in rural districts. So, Giles was correct in assuming that she would most likely speak Mandarin, and it sounds like Chao-Ahn probably came from a very rural area if she wasn't able to converse in Mandarin at least a little.

That, or Giles overestimated his Mandarin skills because he's a buffoon this season. Round of applause for Sep and her research skills, though! Giles smiles, saying they "muddled through," and claims, "As I suspected, ice cream is a universal language." Chao-Ahn looks around curiously and contributes through the pleasantly recappable medium of subtitles, "Like many from Asia, I am lactose intolerant. I'm very uncomfortable." Yes, well, you're not the only one, except it's the poor writing and not the milk that's giving me gas. Everybody smiles at her stupidly, and then Giles semi-shouts (because that always helps foreign people understand better) that they should put away her clothes. Sigh. My love for Giles is the dam that's holding back my true, enraged hatred for this show and everyone associated with it, and the way Giles acts with Chao-Ahn in this episode is giving the dam serious stress fractures. ME should beware breaking the dam! After Giles leaves, Buffy asks Willow to research Principal Wood for her; Willow offers to do the same for Xander's date, but he declines.

Andrew is in the kitchen, trying to shore up the running gag about the microwave. Give it up, already. You. Aren't. Funny. He's got his highlighter all ready to mark important passages in the instruction manual when Jonathan suddenly appears across the room. First Jonathan mocks Andrew for needing a manual to operate the microwave, and then, when Andrew attempts to fend it off with a crucifix, the First waves its hand back and forth through it, sneering, "Oooh. Aaaah. It burns as it ineffectually passes through me." Doesn't the First have that the wrong way 'round? Anyway, it then adds, "I'm not corporeal, remember?" Well, actually, the Scoobies don't seem to remember that from day to day, so, no. Tiny Evil Jonathan says he's there with a mission for Andrew, who declines because he's serving Buffy in order to redeem himself for killing the real Jonathan. And I'm just happy that after this season is over I will have my heathen life back and will have much more limited exposure to the words "redeem" and "redemption," because, quite frankly, they give me a rash. And every time I head over to the spa at TWoP Towers for the Soothing Salvation Salve, I find that Strega has used it all up. First Jonathan mocks Andrew for wanting to join the Scooby gang, and says he'll never get in because he's a murderer. Andrew confides, "Confidentially, a lot of her people are murderers. Uh, Anya, and Willow, and Spike." And hence my lack of affection for them. We should have known we were all in deep shit when Marti admitted that her vision of Buffy was "Party of Five with monsters." Party of Five was a terrible, depressing, whiny, loathsome show about terrible, depressing, whiny, loathsome people. And that's just what Buffy has turned into.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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