Buffy the Vampire Slayer
End Of  Days

Episode Report Card
Sep: C- | 3 USERS: B+
Lo! The Prodigal Slayer Returns!

Previouslies. I don't care how many times they try to make me recap Xander's eye being gouged out, I'm not doing it!

We pick up exactly where we left off last week. Faith discovers the bomb and just barely has time to yell, "Get down!" before the place explodes, flinging Junior Misses into the air.

Meanwhile, back at The Sunnydale Free-Range Bringer Farm and Winery, Buffy takes in the sleek and shiny curves of the weapon in front of her. She's interrupted by Caleb crashing down the stairs. He downplays the fact that Buffy has found The Little Red Axe That Could, because "the question now, girly-girl, is can you pry it from solid rock before I come over there and…" I'll take "yes" for all the money in the world, Bob. Buffy picks up The Little Red Axe That Could effortlessly. I guess Caleb has never read the legend of Excalibur. See what happens when you don't read, children? You miss valuable literary allusions that could save your butts.

Caleb tries to convince Buffy that she should do herself a favor and hand over her Deus Axe Machina before she hurts herself. Day-um. He must think that Buffy is as stupid as he is. But Buffy is smart enough to know that when the man in black jeans who is evil -- hmmm, I guess that's rather redundant -- tells you to do something, you don't obey. Buffy notices that Caleb is backing away from The Little Red Axe That Could. First Buffy morphs into the scene and orders Caleb to let Buffy escape unharmed. Caleb worries about the safety of his skin, but First Buffy tells Caleb that she (Supposedly Non-Evil But Still Decidedly Bitchy Buffy) has other fish to fry. Specifically, "her friends are in trouble." We hear this as a tinny voice-over, suggesting that Buffy is also able to receive 66.6 KEVL. "Faith go boom!" says First Buffy. Buffy rushes past Caleb and up the stairs.

Meanwhile, in the done-blowed-up corner of the earth, we pan across a whole lot of destruction. Millie gets up and starts calling out for Faith. "Is anybody here?" She's joined by an unscathed J. Sweet 'n' Low. They too call around for survivors, and it appears that Miss Minnesota has made it through with only a broken arm. Pan across dead bodies. Unfortunately, Kennedy is not one of them. Kennedy orders the girls to find Faith, and they pull her unconscious form out of a pool of water. They agree that they need to get medical attention for Faith, but then they hear a low growl. "It's one of them," decrees Kennedy, meaning another Notsferatu. "That's not possible," says another Junior Miss, channeling the entirety of the viewing audience. I mean, we all saw that to raise an Übervamp, you had to do some blood deal over the seal. Then we saw Andrew close the seal. Apparently, all the Übervamps got together and said, "Screw this seal shit. Let's take the stairs!" The Slayer Babies decide that the best course of action is to run. Run, Junior Misses, run! Straight into the arms of Notsferatu. Quick now! They run right into a passage that's blocked by rubble. They scale it one by one, but it's slow going helping the walking, and not-so-walking, wounded. Miss Minnesota is the last one over, and just as she clears the barrier, Notsferatu comes up behind and slashes ineffectively at the air behind her. Kennedy gathers the girls into a circle and instructs the rest of the Junior Misses not to panic because the numbers are on their side. "We can take one of these things," she asserts confidently.

Cut to Casa Summers, where Andrew is emptying a sack containing the spoils of war onto the kitchen island. He's been looting at an abandoned grocery store, that brave hero. The rest of the girls gather around in excitement like they haven't seen a Twix in a dog's age. Giles swoops in from the side, exclaiming, "Ooh! Jaffa Cakes," in an oh-my-god-I-just-came style of delivery. That settles it for me. Giles can't be evil; he likes Jaffa Cakes. Enter Xander, Willow, and Dawn. They were unsuccessful in their quest to find Buffy, even though Willow did a locator spell and everything! Well, actually, it brought them to the house where Buffy had her big sulk, but she had already moved on. Giles tells them that "something's gone wrong," because Faith hasn't yet returned from her mission. "We have to go to her," concludes Willow.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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