Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Sep: D | 6 USERS: B-

Buffy and Riley are walking towards each other down the only main street in Sunnydale, and I mean that literally since they're both eschewing the sidewalks. Riley is using his pheromone sensor, and as they meet up, Buffy asks him if it's "really the time for Donkey Kong?" Riley explains the device, and he looks like he wants to start a conversation, but Buffy needs to go "squish" the evil that is afoot. Riley calls her stupid and busts on her for her "doom and gloom" mentality. Buffy quips that there's "nothing more dangerous than a Psych grad student" and starts to walk away. Of course Riley isn't having it and blocks her path. He claims that, if anything, they're even better matched than most because (as two randoms walk into earshot) "you're a -- fry cook and so am I." Heh. Buffy explains that Riley is an "amateur," while she comes "from a long line of fry cooks that don't live past twenty-five." Riley caps on her for her attitude but says that despite the risks their jobs are more "rewarding" and "fun" than anyone else's. Buffy gives a shout-out to Faith, using her current comatose state as an example of what happens when you have too much "fun" on the job. Buffy tries to explain to Riley that the pressures of her job aren't something you can leave at the office, but Riley doesn't believe it. Buffy says that she's tried it his way and it didn't work out. Riley delivers a whole long speech which can be summed up thusly: "Shit happens, but you choose how to deal with it, and you can get by with a little help from your friends." He finishes with, "If you weren't so self-involved you'd see that." Okay, I think Mopey Buffy is just as annoying as the rest of you, but I really don't think it's Riley's place to make that judgment since they've only hung out a handful of times. Buffy seems to think so too, as she coldly replies, "You have no idea what you're talking about. You barely know me," and stalks off. Riley follows, accusing Buffy of wanting to wallow because it's "safer" there. Buffy takes the words right out of my mouth when she tells him that he's out of line. Riley disagrees: "We have an opportunity here, you and me, the fact that you're too scared to even give it a try --" Oh, I see. This outburst wasn't motivated by concern for Buffy, or Riley's desire for her to be happy, but by his bitterness that she decided not to date him. Talk about self-involved. Buffy: "It's my business. So why don't you just leave me alone." Riley's eyes harden and he walks off.

The next scene has Willow and Xander walking outside of Sunnydale's "Historical Museum," disconsolate because they can't find the ward of Valios. Spike, on the other hand, is cheered up by the fact that he's "one step closer to melting in a sea of molten hellfire." Willow says that Spike shouldn't say things like that, and that he'll "adjust." Spike doesn't want to "adjust" and "end up like the two of you." In Spike's opinion, they should be happy to see the end of the world too, since they aren't doing much with their lives anyway. He bags on Xander for living in a basement and on Willow for losing Oz. Willow says that she sees through him, that he's just trying provoke them into staking him. Spike denies this, saying he doesn't want sympathy from "geeks more useless than [he is]." Willow says they aren't useless because they fight the good fight, and Spike corrects her by saying that, in fact, Buffy is the one doing the fighting and they are just "groupies." Xander pitches in with, "We're part of the team. She needs us." Spike: "Or you're just the same tenth-grade losers you've always been and she's too much of a softie to cut you loose." Willow and Xander have no reply to this, and Spike walks off towards the camera sporting the cutest little sadistic smile at the psychological torture he's inflicted.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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