Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Crush

Episode Report Card
Sep: B+ | 3 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
They fight. And fight.

At the train station, Buffy and Xander tear down the police tape and enter the car that we last saw full of vamp leftovers. As they make their way inside, we see that there are all sorts of masking-tape outlines of the victims on the various seats, which really cracks me up but probably shouldn't. Buffy obviously has something on her mind, and after a few false starts she finally reveals to Xander that Spike is in love with her. Upon hearing this news, Xander laughs hysterically. Buffy, upset by Xander's lack of compassion, sinks into a seat, emulating the victim's pose within the tape outline and pouting, "It's creepy." Hee. I got a kick outta that. Xander assures her that she shouldn't get upset over "one of Spike's fevered daydreams." Xander asks how Dawn knew about this, and Buffy tells him that she's been spending time with Spike because she (Dawn) has a crush on him. Xander is visibly upset at this news because, as you remember, he takes a little too much pride in Dawn's crush on him. Buffy doesn't notice this and insists that they go because "there's nothing here." Nothing except a Miss Edith-like doll all tucked into the overhead bin. At this point I wonder to myself if maybe the K-9 units on the Sunnydale force perhaps also double as seeing-eye dogs, but then I remember that the police in Sunnydale are "deeply stupid."

Back at home, Buffy enters the kitchen to hear Joyce telling an amusing little anecdote to Dawn and Spike. She's irritated by Spike's presence, but follows him into the hallway when he says that he needs to give her a hot tip about the train attack. Buffy suggests that he "hit on Giles. Hit. Up. Giles," as she's all outta green. Spike gives her the information anyway, and they go to check it out.

Cut to Buffy sitting in the front seat of Spike's DeSoto. She gives him some sidelong troubled looks, and when he reaches across her, she gets all squealy. Ignoring her, he pulls a flask out of the glove box and takes a long swallow, afterwards offering it in Buffy's direction. "Ew," she replies. "It's not blood, it's bourbon," clarifies Spike. "Eeee-uw," enunciates Buffy in reply. As they wait, Spike starts drumming on the steering wheel and singing a Ramones tune. He turns to ask Buffy if she likes them, and I can just about guarantee that she doesn't, but we're spared her reply by the sight of two vamps entering the building they're staking out. Buffy and Spike go to check it out and enter to find two trashy-looking vamps, one popping Jiffy Pop (HA!) and the other going through a stack of CDs. The vamps stand in surprise as they recognize the Slayer and take off pronto. Buffy notes that the vamps in question have nested, and therefore couldn't have been involved in the murders. She is upset with Spike for wasting her time and stalks angrily towards the door. Spike hurries to get to it first so that he may open it for her. This is the last straw for Buffy, and she demands to know what's going on. "Is this a date?" she testily snits. "A DATE?" echoes Spike with outrage and then softly, hopefully, "Do you want it to be?" Buffy's face falls, and she walks off with an "oh my god." Spike claims that "it's not so unusual. Two people. In the workplace. Feelings develop." Buffy clarifies that those feelings are "loathing. Disgust." Which in Spike's twisted mind he equates with "heat. Desire." Buffy reminds Spike that he's a vampire; it's out of the question. Spike brings up Angel, and Buffy must really be sick of hearing that by now. She tersely reminds him that "Angel was good." Spike insists that he "can be too," and that he's changed. Buffy points out that a chip forcing one to curtail one's murderous actions isn't exactly equivalent to having a moral nature. Spike counters with, "Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you. And if that means turning my back on the whole evil thing…" Buffy cuts him off, but I'm going to interrupt here because Spike wanting to "do good" to impress Buffy really isn't any different than anything any other guy would do to try and get into her pants. It's merely more obvious, and she's right to dismiss it. Spike tries to profess his love. Buffy won't let him and takes off, but not before making it clear that he has no shot with her whatsoever.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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