Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Cruel Intentions

Episode Report Card
Key Grip: D+ | 1 USERS: F
Cruel Intentions
Reese is distracted from reading a letter by loud opera music. The source turns out to be an indoor swimming pool apparently equipped with speakers. Sebastian is sitting in a wheelchair, just for fun, which is not tasteless at all, and Reese tells him to keep it down. He gives her a bag with an engraved nameplate. She looks at him as though he is charming, but I am still not convinced. Reese looks really cute in this scene. Maybe she will read this recap, and realize Ryan's a putz, and marry me. Reese is now in a robe, and returns to the pool to find Sebastian naked, and his ass actually looks pretty weird. They both start to swim, and banter, and she quotes to him from her friend's letters about him: "Even more treacherous than he is attractive." That's not hard. The Pope is more treacherous than Ryan Phillippe is attractive. He cops to his bad reputation, trying the honest approach, if by "honest" one means "equally transparent." Reese reveals she's seeing someone else already, and books. Hey Ryan, she was talking about me. Sebastian walks in on Greg and Blaine getting it on. Sebastian mentions Greg's father's potential humiliation, and Greg agrees to "do anything" to keep his homosexuality a secret. I feel kind of bad for Greg, actually; he looks really scared, but at the same time any father who would be "humiliated" to have a gay son kind of deserves to be humiliated. And even those fathers can change, right, Angry McPhee? Anyhow, turns out Greg's not the informant after all, so Sebastian decides to blackmail Greg into talking him up to Reese, and also finding out who the real bad-mouther is. Greg is walking on the beach with Reese, doing just that. Apparently, Greg would rather betray his oldest friend than come to terms with his sexuality. He's a football star with an intolerant father, so I guess I can buy that, but at the very least that makes him a really really awful friend. Greg calls up Sebastian and tells him the secret informant is Cecile's mother, a.k.a. Christine Baranski, whom we have not seen since her first scene and have pretty much forgotten about. And why would Cecile's mom warn some random girl she doesn't know about Sebastian anyway? Oh, they "met at orientation." More like Plot Contrivance-tation. Whatever. Beelze-Buffy is watching Cecile's "music lesson," which involves flashing Ronald the Cello Teacher while doing a headstand. She is observing them on what appears to be a closed-circuit security monitor on the TV in her living room. Sebastian blands into the room. Suddenly, Sebastian and Buffy decide that the audience is very stupid, which, if they paid nine dollars for this (I know, I know, shut UP) they are. Either that, or both characters have been bitten by a virulent Exposition Spider. The conversation literally goes like this (more or less):

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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