Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C | 5 USERS: B-
The Sky Is Falling!

Angel pulls on a shirt, and sees Miss Calendar across the main room of the mansion. "Trouble sleeping?" she asks. Did anyone involved with this episode not have trouble sleeping? Angel tells her that she's not real, and to leave him alone. She replies, "I can't. You won't let me." He asks what she wants. "I want to die in bed surrounded by fat grandchildren, but I guess that's off the menu." "Fat grandchildren"? "Menu"? Who are you, the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood? Angel says he's sorry for killing her, but she says he should feel sorry for himself. "Oh, but I guess you've already got that covered." Get out of my head, woman! He says he doesn't know what else to say to her. She reaches out to touch his face. "I don't want to make you feel bad" -- she morphs into Daniel -- "I just want to show you who you are."

Buffy, still sporting the hairdo one should only wear with a dirndl, explains to Giles that she was in Angel's dream. He's skeptical at first, but then admits that Angel came to see him. Buffy wonders if they could find out why he's back, and Giles says he's been looking. Buffy says she'll help. At Giles's stern look, she says it's in aid of putting Angel behind her. Xander pops up, and says he'll help too. He admits that he's been a jerk about Angel. "I don't know, maybe I finally got the Chanukah spirit." Look at that -- Xander got an "aw" from me. Buffy looks grateful, and Giles says that they'll start with research, of course. Buffy asks if this is really how Xander wants to spend his holiday, and he admits that he's got nothing else to do. He laments that no one else has as pathetic a social life as he does. On cue, Willow walks up: "Hi, guys. What are we doing?" That was cheap. Oh, and: Ha!

The gang researches and eats pizza. Time passes. Buffy and Willow chat. Willow says that Oz is coming over on Christmas Eve because her parents are out of town. She says that she doesn't know how to make Oz trust her. I know -- a trust spell! Oh, wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Buffy says that Xander has a part of Willow that Oz just can't touch. I hope that was metaphorical. Buffy suggests that Willow let Oz know he comes first. There's a dirty joke in there somewhere, but I'm going to let it go. Willow thanks Buffy for the advice, and they turn back to the research. Buffy complains that they're not getting anywhere.

Mansion. Angel falls to the floor in pain. Oh, wait, that was boredom. And also, that was me. Some middle-aged guy is droning on about how Angel killed his kids. Dude, you're no Keith Szarabajka, so don't even try it. He morphs into the servant girl, who gets to the point: Angelus is different from other predators because of the enjoyment he gets from torturing and killing his victims. In quick succession, Angel now gets it from all sides: Servant girl, flash to Daniel, flash to Miss Calendar. Angel tries to say that he was once a man, not a demon, and that's who he is now. Miss Calendar pisses on that idea, reminding him of the type of man he was. Cut to Angel in a bar, watching a girl dance on a table, as he drinks and jaunty music plays. He passes out and falls to the ground. That scene only lasted for four seconds, but it was way funnier than all but one other scene in this episode. Servant girl: "You were a worthless being long before you were ever a monster." Angel, crying and shaking, begs her to stop. It's Miss Calendar again, telling him that she just wants to show him that "cruelty is the only thing you ever had a talent for." He denies that, and so do I. I mean, it's a toss-up between him and Tom Welling for Champion Moper of the world. Mmm, Tom Welling. I'd like to take him to Club Zero. Recap? Right. Miss Calendar tells Angel to rest, and he goes fetal. She tells him that being cruel is his destiny. "I'll show you," she says, running her fingers through his hair.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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