Breaking Pointe
This Ballet Is Cursed

Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: B | 18 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Klingons and Dance Belts and Monsters, Oh My

But when it comes time for that lift in the actual show, it goes flawlessly. Backstage the other dancers actually whoop when Rex lands Christiana's tiny ass on his right shoulder. He tells us in a talking head that his foot is still not cooperating, but he's trying to compensate. Allison looks delighted with how well he's dancing.

Beckanne, in her talking head, reminds us that Chase might not stay with Ballet West next year, and this gives her a sad. Christiana is dissatisfied with her performance and vows to do better for the rest of the run. She and Rex really do look so great together as she lays her head delicately on his shoulder and the ballet ends. They take their bows.

Allison calls Dread Boyfriend. She's near tears when she says she danced well, but it was hard for her not having any loved ones in the audience. He doesn't reply to that, not that we hear anyway. They hang up. Ugh. I just want Allison to go have revenge sex with Rex right now. She chalks Dread Boyfriend's absence up to his Rex Issues (as when Rex came into Allison's life three years ago, it blew up her long-distance relationship with Dread Boyfriend), but it seems pretty clear to all of us that the issues are primarily that Jonathan is a jackass, right?

Christiana joins her and asks if Dread Boyfriend is there. Allison gives a laugh that says she's pretending this doesn't matter when she says she thought maybe Dread Boyfriend would surprise her. Christiana reminds her that Dread Boyfriend is a shitty person who doesn't care about her, and if this had been her last show, his absence is both callous and cruel. Allison doesn't think Dread Boyfriend is a bad person, he just can't get past the Rex thing. And to add to it, Allison finally says, Dread Boyfriend didn't even have to work that day.

Christiana literally yells, "WHAT?!" And then she grabs her broom and flies to Michigan and bashes Jonathan over the head and dumps him in the empty lot that used to be Tiger Stadium. Allison cries and says being with Dread Boyfriend scares her, in that he makes her behave in a way that she doesn't recognize herself. Christiana tells her people who want to be with her will be with her. Get the message, Allison. She cries about how Dread Boyfriend used to be supportive and drove her to auditions. Finally, she sobs, "It's already over." YES. THANK YOU, XENU.

Next time: Christiana actually calls her marriage "doomed." Allison falls back into Rex's manly arms. The dancers to go LA for a fund-raiser, and Cinderella closes, possibly disastrously.

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Breaking Pointe

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