Breaking Pointe
This Ballet Is Cursed

Episode Report Card
Sara Brady: B | 18 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Klingons and Dance Belts and Monsters, Oh My

The next day, Christiana greets Allison in the studio. They talk about how Adam is a crazed stress monster right now, and Christiana asks Allison if Dread Boyfriend is coming for the show. Allison doesn't know, and Christiana puts herself in Awesome Friend territory when she declares that Dread Boyfriend will be there, because he knows how important this is to Allison. Her delusional loyalty is touching, but Allison says in a talking head that Dread Boyfriend isn't really the romantic-surprise type. No, he's more the passive-aggressive monster who treats you horribly until you finally have had enough and you dump him type. Christiana reminds Allison to focus on being a pretty, pretty fairy.

Dress rehearsal. The orchestra is assembled, the sets are done, everyone's getting their makeup done and fake latex foreheads pasted on, because in addition to drag stepsisters and Napoleon, this ballet apparently also involves Klingons. Ian does a couple of pirouettes in his soldier pants and his very aggressive blush and tells us that Allyson is coming (because that is what you do when you love someone, AHEM, DREAD BOYFRIEND) and he wants her to be impressed with his performance. He does some push-ups.

Christiana's talking head is almost unbearably depressing when she's all: my life is a disaster! She hugs Rex and tells us this is the first time they'll do the whole ballet together on stage. She really wants things to go right so they can work out all the hinky bits. Beckanne and Allison run through some fairy choreography. The stage manager calls all the dancers to the stage. Zach actually looks hilariously like Napoleon.

As Christiana dances with her broom, she tells us that ankle is killing her. But she doesn't show it, because she is a goddamn rock star. Ian and Josh do their section and afterward, Ian recounts an incident in which he accidentally poked Josh in the chest with his thumb and maybe broke a bone. Ow. Ian and his pushy makeup go backstage as he frets dramatically in a talking head. Would it really be so difficult to dance with a broken thumb? Obviously it would make lifts really tough, but can't we all agree that everyone at Ballet West is tougher than Jay Cutler?

As the fairies and Christiana are dancing one section (and man, does the orchestra sound rough at this point—it's early days for them, too), girl dancer Emily absolutely bites it. Her ankle goes out from under her and she hits the deck like a sack of rocks. Chris runs out of the wings, followed by Rex, everyone cursing without heed for their body mics or the delicate sensibilities of the surrounding Utahns.

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Breaking Pointe

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