Bones
A Boy In The Tree

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A Boy In The Tree

Viewer discretion is advised. Seriously. They aren't kidding about that. If you don't have any discretion, borrow some from your neighbor. And don't try to eat anything while watching.

We open in the lab instead of in a crime scene. For a second. And then like five shots later, we're in an SUV with Brennan and Booth. Why show the lab at all? Confusing. Booth and Brennan are looking at the exterior of the Jeffersonian, and Booth asks with exasperation where "the kid" is. Did they get married and have a kid? What in the holy hell is going on here?

Cut back to the lab, where Zack is talking to a young blonde co-worker while Jack and Angela watch from afar. Jack explains that Zack slept with Blondie a month ago and now she won't call him. Jack tries to make small talk with Angela about their job, but they both realize that their jobs are boring and what they really want is a murder investigation. Okay, if their jobs are so boring normally, until this whole investigation thing came up recently, why did they spend all that time in school learning how to do it? Angela says that Booth and Brennan are waiting for Zack to go out on an investigation, and Jack yells to Zack that he needs to leave immediately. Blondie doesn't pause for a second before running off. Zack says that Blondie told him to take a hint, and he doesn't get it, because apparently he's been brain damaged. He says, "I understand the individual words but I do not comprehend their meaning." Okay, is he maladjusted socially, or is he a robot? Because, seriously. And also, did you know people that are good at science and work in labs are bad at talking to other humans? There's something you don't see on TV every day. Give me a break. Jack and Angela rush Zack out the door, where he joins Booth and Brennan in the SUV.

While they drive, Booth explains that there is a dead body in a prep school out in the sticks. Zack won't stop talking about Blondie, and Brennan wants to continue with her "how to be a human" lessons. I think there should only be one person who has no social skills per series. Because having both of them in one car is pretty annoying. And annoying isn't really what you want in a lead character, I don't think. Booth takes his sunglasses off, although in a previous scene we saw him just put them on, and enough with the sunglasses already because it's distracting. And also, Zack has on a maroon velvet blazer and very feathery hair, and it's all very '70s. Booth explains that there's a new sheriff at the crime scene, and she's okay, but the prep school has a lot of pull, so it's likely the sheriff will want them to take over the case. Booth asks them to follow his lead, because it will be a politically charged situation. Predictably, Zack and Brennan go right back to talking about their own issues, because they weren't listening. I would just pull over and drop them off right there. Booth suggests that they all take on "quiet meditation," and puts his sunglasses back on.

They arrive at the prep school and there's some bad voice-overs about all the security, and Booth explains yet again that it's a very prestigious (read: expensive) school. A guy stops the SUV and asks to see ID from everyone inside, and they comply. Zack says that it reminds him of his old school, and Booth makes a crack about how removed it is from the real world, like, do you get that Booth went to public school and he LIKED IT? And it doesn't make him feel inadequate at all? And he's just as smart as anyone who went to private school? I hope you got all that, because they won't mention it again. Or they will, but only about eleventy-hundred times. The security guy says he'll show them to the crime scene, and in fact they can't just head out by themselves. Booth reads the Latin inscription nearby, and both Brennan and Zack immediately translate for him: "I carry with me all my things." That seems like kind of a strange motto for a school. Is it a school or an ecotourism vacation? Also, did you see how Booth didn't know Latin because he went to (gasp) public school? Just checking.

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