Boardwalk Empire
You'd Be Surprised

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C | 4 USERS: B+
You'd Be Surprised

Back at the Ritz, Nucky and Owen are sitting in a darkened room, sipping whiskey and speaking cryptically about... something. Nucky says Owen seems nervous. Owen says he doesn't like leaving matters out of their hands. Nucky says if something goes wrong, they aren't to blame. SOUNDS EXCITING, GUYS! Their busy schedule of avoiding specifics is interrupted by Billie's arrival, at which point, Owen makes a decidedly polite exit. She's bumming hardcore on account of how her terrible show is getting shuttered by the end of the week. Never even got out of previews. Nucky assures her that it's not her fault, but she's been hearing that so much lately it's starting to make her nervous. He says it's just that "ox" she got paired with. He asks her why Shubert never replaced him with anyone else. The choreographer, say? Billie says he's no one's idea of a leading man, before stopping and adding, "But I'm no leading lady." Nucky says he'll call Shubert and convince him to revamp the project -- new stars, new songs, new script (um, it's called a BOOK, Nucky! Jeez, next thing you'll be playing the soundtrack). Billie doesn't want him to intervene, though. "I just wanted to complain," she says, a sentiment I can completely empathize with. Nucky backs off, and then offers to take them out to dinner. But Billie is, as I said, bumming, so she'd just rather stay home and wallow for a bit. She says the thing she hates the most is that she keeps hearing her father's words to her: "Always on the move, but going nowhere fast." Eloquent old bastard, huh? Billie gives Nucky a sad flapper smile, and then retires to the bedroom.

Tabor Heights. That same damn diner. Rosetti is inside as usual and he's joined by Arnold Rothstein and Lucky Luciano. At the point where we join things, Rosetti is explaining that he did what he did against Nucky mainly because of his superior attitude. "Hubris, as the Greeks called it," Rothstein offers, which gets Rosetti to puff his chest out about the Italians having conquered the Greeks or some such business. He then offers what must seem to him like a sincere apology for shooting his mouth off at New Year's, and Rothstein calmly assures him that he's got a thick skin about it. So it looks like these guys are striking up a deal to circumvent Nucky, provided Rosetti can provide the same top-shelf booze Nucky could. A news carrier comes in hawking today's paper, and Rosetti buys one off the kid, then get angry and snaps that he said this was TODAY'S paper, but it's full of YESTERDAY'S news. Everybody immediately look at their shoes because their too embarrassed to look at someone who could be that insanely stupid, everyone hoping that no one will call him on it. The paperboy is almost compelled to answer ("because today's news is still happening, dipshit" seems appropriate to the occasion) before the lightbulb flicks on above Rosetti's head and he manages to pretend he was making a joke the whole time. Funny joke! I don't know how newspapers work! He tells the paperboy to add his hotel room -- room 207 at the lodge down the street -- to his delivery route. Rosette then invites Rothstein and Luciano to come by after midnight and sample some of his incoming delivery. They all shake on it.

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Boardwalk Empire




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