Boardwalk Empire
You'd Be Surprised

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C | 4 USERS: B+
You'd Be Surprised

At St. Theresa's, Margaret is waiting for class to begin. Dr. Mason isn't there yet, and, as Sister Mary Euphemism is all too eager to point out, they've gone from six women in the class down to five. Margaret says they'll wait a bit longer; "we don't all have your rigor, Sister." Sister Euphemism rather haughtily says we are usually prompt for the things we care about. One of the ladies in the class, God bless her, speaks up and says that the hour of the class makes it not ideal for a housewife. At Margaret's prompting, the other women chime in to say that mid-mornings would be best, after breakfast and before the kids return from school. Margaret jots this down, though Sister Euphemism throws a bucket of cold water, saying that doesn't really suit her schedule. If Margaret's ever going to use her connections to Nucky to have a nun killed, this WOULD be the season. A nurse comes to the door and tells Margaret that Dr. Mason is needed in the ward and doesn't know when he'll be able to join the class, so Margaret gathers herself and decides to teach today's lesson on her own. The ladies in the class seem unsure, and Sister Mary Euphemism is practically aghast that a regular ol' woman could presume to teach such things. But Margaret's like, "We have our book and our chart and ourselves." Sister Euphemism says this is not what was agreed to. Margaret's like, "Yeah, today's been like that in a lot of ways." She begins the lesson by saying that last time they discussed conception, while this time they will learn about "development: how a human being grows." Okay! Theme delivered!

In Chicago, Van Alden shows up late at night at Dean O'Banion's flower shop. I see O'Banion's started locking his door and keeping a guard by it since the Capone incident. Dean's cracking "iron" related puns at his old friend the traveling salesman, but Van Alden's in no mood for laughs (I know, right?). He says he needs Dean's help: "I must dispose of a body." Dean almost certainly did not see that one coming.

Tabor Heights. At the lodge where Rosetti is staying, the newspaper boy approaches with the night's delivery. Only we purposefully don't see his face, and also one of the bodyguards out front asks what happened to the other kid, so something's up. Upstairs, Rosetti's busy doing the redheaded waitress from behind while collared to the bedpost by his belt. A good time being had by all. The newsie strides down the hall to the guard outside Rosetti's door, who responds to the kid's delivery request with "I'll take it," and he does, as the kid pulls out a gun and shoots him right in the head. Inside, Rosetti heard the shot and starts yelling at the waitress to untie him. He reaches for his gun, but the belt won't let him get that far. The newsie -- surprise, it's Benny/Bugsy -- shoots through the lock and busts in, just in time for Rosetti to free himself and pull the waitress in front of him and take the killshot. Benny keeps firing haphazardly around the room but he doesn't hit Rosetti, who by now has found his gun and is firing back. Benny flees without getting the job done -- fucking of course! -- but he sure will shoot everybody on his way out. Even the poor original paperboy, who shows up at exactly the wrong time, sees Benny racing towards the door with a gun and squeaks out a "Don't shoot!" Benny only needs to push past this kid and he's out the door, but nope: shoots him right between the eyes. Because he could. Because he's been waiting to shoot people for weeks and he wanted one more. Benny races across the lawn, yelping and hooting like how Daffy Duck used to when he was acting crazy, and tells his getaway driver to step on it. So I guess that deal Rothstein and Luciano set up was only to get Rosetti to let his guard down? Can't imagine this will end all that well. Especially after Rosetti stalks through the lodge, past all the dead and dying bodies, belt still around his neck, blood all over his body, looking for all the world like a wild animal. Also you can totally see his penis.

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Boardwalk Empire




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