Boardwalk Empire
Bone for Tuna

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B- | 7 USERS: A
Do I Amuse You?
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Is it me or do the opening credits get longer every episode? They do, right?

As we begin, Nucky's in his office, trying to phone Billie, to no avail. He tells the operator that he's been trying for hours, and the operator responds, "The only thing to worry about is when you run out of company." Okay, so dream sequence, then? Really? I honestly can't believe any HBO show persists with dream sequences anymore, since The Sopranos pretty much wrote the book on the whole "window into the closed-off protagonist's psyche" trope (and kind of ran the concept into the ground, to be honest). Anyway, so Teddy's there, Nucky calling him "slugger," and suddenly he's got a pan full of frying bacon in his hand. The phone rings, distracting Nucky for a second, and a gunshot sounds. Nucky looks up to see Teddy dead on the floor and a smoking gun in his hand. Nucky starts to freak out when Eddie wakes him and tells him Mrs. Thompson is on the phone. When he picks up, they are both annoyed with each other, Nucky for her bothering him, Margaret for Nucky skipping their meeting with the bishop's advance man about his receiving the St. Gregory medal. As expected, Nucky doesn't even want it, but Margaret insists it's an honor he can't turn down. "You said appearances mattered," she tells him. "Do you write down everything I say?" he snarks back. Marriage! After he hangs up, he asks Eddie if Miss Kent called, but she hasn't. And Nucky has a meeting to get to. Probably not with the bishop, though. He stops for a second and looks puzzled -- he asks Eddie, "Is somebody frying something?" And did that big-mouth Billy Bass say something to him?

Margaret returns to her meeting with the bishop's advance man, Father Schuck, and makes apologies for Nucky. She gives him the credit for donating the land to the church, and they start to go over the particulars. She looks at the schedule and notices that there's no time for a private audience with the bishop, as she'd requested. The bishop's schedule is rather tight, Fr. Schuck says. Margaret obviously wants this to happen; she suggests the bishop is purposefully avoid the Thompsons, a statement that gets vigorously refuted. "So you'll see to it?" she asks, pointedly. She even threatens to go over his head if he doesn't. After two episodes of Margaret looking unsure of herself, it's nice to remember what a bulldog she can be when she wants to.

In Chicago, "George Meuller" shows up for work and doesn't notice everybody is snickering at him. The reason becomes clear when he goes to write something and ink squirts back at him from a rigged pen. Laughter erupts in the bullpen -- cruel, ill-natured laughter, not the good kind. Of course, Van Alden's reaction to it is almost vaudevillian in its demonstrativeness. I'm surprised he didn't also slip on a banana peel someone left out for him. He turns to clean himself off so Mr. Gulliver can't see his ink-stained face when he comes in. Gulliver makes a hilariously rousing speech about the importance of what they do -- their irons smooth out the fabric of America, or some such -- and then hands out the Glengarry leads on a first-come basis. Meuller is last, of course, because he's trying to clean himself off; to Gulliver, it just looks like a lack of gumption. Last place means you're fucking fired, George.

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Boardwalk Empire




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