Boardwalk Empire
All In

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B- | 35 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Also The Cover Charge Was Ridiculous

Dunn's waiting for Chalky, and Chalky still is giving him a pretty cold shoulder. Dunn says his mom is sick — perhaps pertussis, perhaps consumption, and again I would really just like to listen to a super-long list of old-timey illnesses. Maybe she's got dropsy! How about the grippe! — and she's been asking for him. The first question Chalky has is whether Dunn's got someone who can make his collections. Purnsley does, and at any rate he'll be back from Baltimore in two days. Chalky takes a long, long time to answer — taking time to sniff a liquor bottle first. "You got family to tend to, go on and tend to 'em," says Chalky, who won't even look at Dunn. If he had, he'd see the glare of utter hatred from Dunn. I mean, he has to be giving off actual radiant heat.

At O'Banion's flower shop, Van Alden must be loving his new duty of setting up flowerpots for O'Banion to blast with a shotgun. O'Banion bets his other goon that he'll need both barrels to hit one, and the goon confidently tells him he bagged four "filthy-pinos" in the summer of '01. I take it he means "Filipinos," and he fought in the Philippine-American war. He sights the gun, but when he fires, the cartridge explodes in smoke in his face, and he goes down, screaming about losing an eye, all of which is much to O'Banion's merriment. As usual, Van Alden takes in the scene before him with a mixture of disgust and constipation. The goon — do we know his name? I can't keep a lot of the hangers-on straight — yells at O'Banion until O'Banion stops laughing and says it was just a joke: Do you want him getting sore at you? That calms Ol' Blindy down, and then O'Banion's lieutenant or whatever comes in — pissed that he missed the maiming of Ol' Blindy — and then passes along the news of what happened to the "bloater" who does collections for the Capones. O'Banion would love to do a wreath for one of the guineas, but instead he'll settle for sending Van Alden over to the hospital with some day-old daisies. Van Alden says he'd prefer to avoid the Capones — pointing out the still-healing wound on his head he got the last time O'Banion sent him. O'Banion's response is to just fire his shotgun into the air, and Van Alden gets the message. Stupid Van Alden! They just made the half-blind go deliver beer before he's allowed to lie down and bleed to death — at some point Van Alden will figure out arguing is pointless (not to mention possibly lethal). At any rate, awesome things tend to happen to Van Alden when he hangs out with the Capones, so I'm perking up. Really, I wouldn't care if it's not plausible for O'Banion to say, "Head over to Cicero where you'll get hit in the face with a chair a bunch of times," and I'd take it.

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Boardwalk Empire

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