Bionic Woman

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on We Can Rebuild Her; We Have The Rights: Jaime was bionic; Starbot was bionic and angry; Jaime poured out her heart to her ungrateful, bratty sister and swore undying loyalty to same; and Jae had a heart-to-heart with Dorkus Senior just before Dorkus Junior: The Dorkus Chronicles took a bullet to the shoulder that finished him off, probably because his bionic girlfriend went off to catfight instead of calling 911. Jaime found out that her boyfriend had perhaps been stalking her before dating her, and after resisting joining the creepy clandestine organization apparently responsible for the stalking as well as the replacement of parts of her body with machines, the loss of her pregnancy, the death of her boyfriend, and the inability to walk around the city without hearing "Unwritten" coming from everywhere even more than other people do, she decided that "if you can't stop 'em from ruining your life, join 'em" was the winning approach.

We come up on Jaime and Jae fighting again in the parts warehouse?...where her training takes place. She's kind of getting her ass kicked, and it turns out that Jae has just said something about her brain and artificial intelligence that has her freaked out. He emphasizes that all he said is that she has some artificial intelligence in her wiring. And -- say it with me -- I think she could use all the intelligence she can get, but she still doesn't seem grateful. They fight more. They stop fighting. They fight more. We're supposed to be learning something from all this, I'm quite sure, but your guess is as good as mine. It has something to do with teaching her not to behave in a predictable, robotic (let's say) fashion. Jaime, fresh from the sweat-spraying apparatus they clearly keep just out of camera range, says, "You're telling me I can hack into myself." He...he said that? Wow. I need to turn on the subtitles. Or the subtext-titles. The subtextles.

Later, Jaime and Becca are enjoying lunch al fresco, and to the surprise of absolutely everyone, Becca is wearing a bitchface that suggests that her salad is made from nothing but lemon peels. Asked how the salad is, Becca snots that "it's's a salad." Like she's wondering, how good can a salad be? She needs to eat the pear salad at the Noho Star, which I am not done talking about yet ["God, no kidding. Also, Becca needs to marry Silas from Weeds and have the world's snottiest babies." -- Joe R] . Jaime asks if Becca wants a sundae, and Becca is bitchy about this also, so Jaime guiltily admits that she's trying to "buy back [Becca's] love" after spending so much time at work. Becca tells her that Jaime knows what she wants, and Jaime says she's not buying any jeans that cost $170. Becca protests that they do great things for her ass, and "you can't put a price tag on that." Becca clumsily exposits that Jaime should make more money now that she has that new job as a "consultant." She clearly does not know very much about consultants, since that's as likely to indicate unemployment as prestige.

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Bionic Woman




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