Big Brother
Vision Thing

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now!
Vision Thing

Slide-guitar into the end of the nomination ceremony. Daniele hugs her nominees. Amber? Cries. Jameka DRs that she doesn't understand how Daniele can say that Jameka and Amber are threats because they're nice. Amber DRs that Daniele's nomination just "fueled" her "fire," and that she feels like she's "busting out of a cage." As Jameka and Amber commiserate in the bathroom, Eric comes wandering in, all hangdog like he's playing a Big Brother contestant in a silent movie, and tells Jameka and Amber that he thought it was going to be him. Jameka's sort of "whatever" about it, and then DRs that for him to say that when he has a secret alliance is like a slap in the face to her. In her defense, this little interlude does seem kind of over the top, not that there's anything that could happen now that Jameka wouldn't see through the gauze of her own self-pity.

Speaking of which, Jameka decides that the best place to have a moment alone is on the round couch directly outside the HoH room. She's lying there moping when Daniele returns, and asks how Jameka's doing. Jameka mumbles that she's fine. Daniele offers to talk -- probably assuming that's what Jameka wants, given where she is -- and Daniele's like, "Well...I'll leave you to it, then," and DRs that Jameka's taken her nomination a lot harder than Daniele thought she would. She does not add that now Jameka's god will be angry with her, though I suspect that's what Jameka's thinking.

Out on the hammock, Jessica and Jen discuss the nominations; Jen asks after Jameka, and Jessica says she's okay. Jen muses that she is starting to think that they made a mistake in voting Dustin out when they had a chance to excise Dick instead, and that Dick and Daniele are just going to act like a two-headed HoH and rampage through the house or whatever the hell. Jessica lies fairly well, noncommittally shrugging and saying that Dick and Daniele's "time will come." Jen adds that she's noticed that Dick's and Daniele's nominees never end up being the people they actually send home, and wonders if Daniele's doing the same this week, and if so, whom they'd nominate as a replacement (and she earns a few more gold stars from me for not using the expression "backdoor"). Jen says she doesn't think Daniele would nominate either Jen or Jessica, but she can't think who else Daniele would substitute in place of Jameka or Amber. Yes, the possibilities really are limitless.

So then we cut to what we're supposed to think are our two lovebirds -- Jessica and Eric -- loitering in one of the tall beds. Apparently, Eric knows muay thai, and offers to show Jessica an Ultimate Fighting move: the clinch. Jessica DRs that there's something about a guy who can wrestle that she likes, and we're supposed to think she means Eric, though she doesn't use any names, which instantly makes me suspicious. Anyway, he coaches her to set up the clinch, and then executes it, clasping his fingers together at the back of her neck. Hilariously, the speed of the playback slows down and the editors add all this kind of ecstatic harp music to make us think this is the moment when Jessica realized that she was really in love with Eric (for real, all that's missing are the cartoon bluebirds alighting on her shoulders), and when he breaks the clinch, she's like, "Wow." Though that could be about how greasy Eric's hands were. Who's to say?

Anyway, at this point Zach comes in to execute another move: the cock block. He marches in and goes straight for the thermostat, complaining that it's hot in there. In the DR, he straight-up declares that Eric has no game, and that any time it seems like he might be about to score with a lady, Zach rolls in and breaks it up. Which earns him a few more gold stars from me, too. He starts by climbing into bed, half-lying on Eric and getting him all gay-panicky, and then cannily gets Jessica to demonstrate the clinch on him. When she's got him in position, he ends up with a faceful of her rack, and responds with the expected "a-OOO-gah"s and so forth. Eric, all about procedure, orders Jessica to get Zach with her elbows, but she's still giggling about Zach's reaction to her chest, and Eric is hilariously pissed off about it, totally not noticing how much Jessica's enjoying flirting with Zach. He settles in with his back between her legs, putting his head on her chest, and Eric's all, "Bold move! Inappropriate!" Jessica's still totally chill and loving the attention. Eric quietly loses his shit -- which is, of course, the sign of a true ladies' man.

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Big Brother




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