Big Brother
Veterans vs. Veterans

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
Cracks Widen

Hasselhoff joins the lucky four up in the HoH room, where there's a nice spread of sushi and champagne. Hasselhoff displays his (entirely respectable) ignorance of this show some more by asking what they do all day. "It gets a little monotonous," Jeff admits, which is a nice way of saying "nothing."

Downstairs, Brendon is actually blaming Rachel for helping people answers, as though "Michael Jackson" is what tipped the scales. She downplays it, and whines and cries about how he's always getting mad at her. He decides he wants out of this fight, as he always does ten seconds out of every fight he starts, and Rachel snaps, "Everyone already knows we're fighting! Because all we do is fight!" Again, when she's right she's right. Brendon actually threatens to leave if she can't be serious about the game. He also blames her for not being able to let go of stuff, which is pretty rich. He insists he wasn't yelling at her, but she shuts down, because they're completely dysfunctional. But at least when they're making each other miserable they aren't making other people miserable, right? Oh, except all the people watching, myself chief among them. Forgot about those folks.

The other new newbies and Daniele listen to them through the walls. Dominic accurately calls them sore losers, like "third-grade kids." Brendon keeps threatening to walk out of the game, and says Kalia and Shelly are getting Jeff and Jordan on their side right now, instead of Rachel and Brendon having this chance to further cement their alliance. Yes, I'm sure Jeff and Jordan would have felt so much closer to you two.

Upstairs, Hasselhoff takes his leave. In his final DR, he says he'd ally with Jeff and Jordan because they seem nice. Jordan explains to us in the DR that she didn't want to have Brendon and Rachel kissing the whole time, or thinking that she's sucking up because Rachel is HoH. Shelly offers to leave and let Rachel take her place, but while Jordan declines, Jeff says they'll save some food for her. Meanwhile, Brendon tells Rachel he's done fighting, he's so over fighting (so stop starting fights, asshat), and makes a terrifying rage-face as he says they should nominate Jeff and Jordan and make America hate them. Upstairs, the gang is enjoying the show (or pretending to) while Brendon and Rachel keep arguing about arguing. He says everyone warned them against coming back, but Rachel wanted to, so they did. Brendon says this isn't worth it. "And you wonder why people like Jeff and Jordan more than us," Rachel whines. How could anyone wonder that? More show-watching. Rachel whines about wanting her dream wedding, which is apparently why they're there: so they can win half a million dollars to pay for it. The people upstairs finish watching the show, and Shelly even gets teary over it. I'm going to assume that's because she misses her own family. Brendon is similarly weepy, thinking Rachel's going to walk out on him. Like that's not the best thing that could happen to both of them.

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Big Brother




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