Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A+ | Grade It Now!
I Choose Me

Matt tells her she fell to the curse of the unitard: "When you're up there in a costume, you're as good as gone, baby." Rachel calls her the "definition of the word bitch. Who do you think you are, trying to talk to Brendon behind my back. Don't ever, ever try to get between me and my man!" Which makes it four times out of four that Rachel's said that in a farewell message. Think she says it in every message to both nominees every week, just in case? She goes on to call Kristen a "triflin' ho." And then Ragan's message nails Rachel to the wall: "You have been evicted because of Rachel's insecurities. Take it as a compliment." Preach it, Ragan.

Kathy weeps about how much she'll miss Kristen. Who will she have to cast a lonely dissenting vote for next week? Brendon calls her out for trying to convince people Hayden's in an alliance, which just makes him look like an even bigger idiot. And Hayden informs Kristen that he's in an alliance with Matt, Enzo and Lane, called the Brigade. "But I want you to know that if I had to choose between you and the Brigade, I would have chosen you." Funny, that's not what he told the Brigade.

Julie remarks on Kristen's lack of visible reaction, and Kristen admits that she kind of saw it coming. Julie asks how this affects her feelings toward Hayden, and she gives a lengthy, rambling non-answer about being true to herself that would befit a half-term Alaska governor as well as any Big Brother houseguest. As for whether he's going to try to get back with her boyfriend or wait for Hayden, she pulls a Kelly Taylor and says she needs time alone. Yeah, I think she'll be getting it, too.

Julie's been telling us all night that this is the biggest HoH of the season, and why? Because Pandora's Box is back, and this time opening it will unleash "the new saboteur." Wow, that's a lot of look. Remember how America voted this week to nominate a new saboteur? Looks like they're giving the gig to Ragan, who narrowly edged out Enzo. But before we find out how that's going to play out, it's time for the HoH competition. Or at least, time for it to start.

It's a simple one, another endurance-based challenge. The eight remaining houseguests (not counting Rachel) are standing on a narrow ledge that wraps around a giant paint can, their backs pressed to the sides and holding onto a railing behind them. The one who stays on the longest is the next HoH. The can starts spinning slowly, but since everyone's wearing safety goggles, there's obviously going to be more to it than that. Julie adds that the first one to fall will be the only Have-Not of the week. And then cannons start spewing paint at them like the end of that OK Go video. Commercials.

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Big Brother




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