Big Brother
The Princess Lands Her Tiara

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C | 1 USERS: A+
Ending and Pretending

Julie asks Eric about things between him and Lisa, and asks what it was like to watch her from the outside looking in. The big mook makes what's actually a very nice little speech about how he just got more and more crazy about her, and he just thinks she's so cool and so swell They're both just kind of awkward and pretty and nice and simple. Give them a hand, ladies and gentlemen, and wish them luck.

Rather cruelly, Julie asks Chiara about Roddy. Good God, Julie. The girl needs help as it is! Help her put it down! Don't make her pick it up! Roddy seriously looks like he is going to throw up sitting behind Chiara, so for me, that makes this otherwise painful sequence entirely worthwhile. Chiara giggles and equivocates and basically says, "Gee, I don't know." Well, my dear, that makes you the only one who doesn't know.

Julie doesn't ask Roddy about Chiara, because she wants to ask him about the fact that he sucks. Don't we all. She brings up the fact that he admitted to having manipulated everyone in the house and taken advantage of their weaknesses. She asks whether that isn't, in fact, a form of lying. Yay, Julie! I mean, it isn't really a form of lying, but it is a form of acting like a dick, so she's close enough. Roddy babbles about how much integrity he has and how playing on people's weaknesses is "not immoral to do." Along here, I start thinking a lot about what his eyeballs would look like in a jar on top of my television.

On to Tonya. Julie asks her about the "harsh criticism" she took for the way she acted. For the zillionth time, Tonya rehashes the bull about how she should be allowed to "be a mom and be sexy." I am so sending her a dictionary. With "sexy" circled.

Julie asks Lori about her short stay in the house, and asks whether she's ever thought about whether she would have "stirred things up" in the house if she'd stayed longer. "Oh, Julie, yes," says Lori, projecting her voice past the dead and very rare Bohemian Mink-Covered Snake (serpenticus furrificus) draped around her neck. Everyone laughs, because Lori is from Wisconsin. Ha, ha! Those Midwesterners! "We'll never know how things would have been different," Julie says abruptly, trying to shut her up.

Moving along to Gerry, Julie asks whether his students think he's cool now, or whether he takes abuse for the things they saw. (I would think the lack of hand-washing would be a likely target for, say, sixth-graders. "Good morning, Mr. Poopyhands!") He says there's some of both, but he doesn't mind. He says that, fortunately, he was perceived as a "pretty cool teacher" before, so he's even cooler now. Gerry? Yeah. Quit while you're ahead, dude.

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Big Brother




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