Big Brother
The 13th Hour

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Shut The Elf Up

Previously: As Julie points out, the Vets have controlled every eviction before now, but once Daniele made her Big Move, followed by winning HoH, followed by her second Big Move, that all changed. And then, if you'll recall, Brendon basically out-Nakomis'd the Nakomis Five-Finger by saying he was going to remove himself from the block, but then not doing it. The cleverest move in Big Brother History.

Tonight there will be an eviction, there will be a new HoH, and there will be some Dick that we're going to pretty much zoom past, because who needs that? Dude looks like the inside of a garbage disposal.


But first, let's listen to the aftermath.

Brendon: "This was basically a no-brainer for me."
Daniele: "This was basically a no-brainer, period."
Jeff: "I think Jordan will be safe, unless this is secretly all about me somehow."
Daniele: "Jordan's fine. Brendon is a muscleheaded ball of resentment and gender confusion that hates everyone with a dull-eyed glare, whereas Jordan is delightful."
Jordan: "I'm fairly sure that I'm safe, although Jeff's paranoia is making me feel weird. Mostly I'm just concerned that I won't wear my awesome Eviction Dress. It's a catch-22."

Rachel: "Essentially this game show was a free vacation for me and my boyfriend. Anybody that doesn't help me and Brendon stay in the game together is a floater and they have bad game play. And are mean."
Porsche: (Hilariously pretends to care.)


Brendon: "Stop crying."
Rachel: "I can't stop crying."
Brendon: "Focus on how amazing I am for doing this for you, and what it says about my masculinity."
Rachel: "I cannot!"
Brendon: "Then let's talk about how amazing it was when I pulled my game-changing move of taking myself off the block!"
Rachel: "Yeah... Um, that was really something."

Brendon & Rachel: "I love you. I love you because we are scientists."
Rachel: "I have no idea how to function in this game without you as my bullying backup, because I have alienated everyone and hate is my only currency."
Brendon: "What's important is that I am physically attracted to you in a heterosexual way."
Rachel: "You make me believe in myself."

Jordan & Jeff: "Shelly, this is all very exciting! Did he fool you too?"
Shelly: "I just want you to know that I will do anything, abase or humiliate myself in any way, to make you like me."
Jeff: "If Brendon goes home, Rachel is going to crank it to 11. She is a monster."
Shelly: "Whatever you want me to say."

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Big Brother




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