Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!

Natalie is predictably grief-stricken at Matt's departure, and blames herself for trusting James. And, you know, failing to hang onto that disco ball until she literally died. Adam is also sad to see Matt go, and is worried that Ryan will be pissed at him for voting to keep Matt. Sheila DRs that she's now out for vengeance for Matt -- who she decided to evict just last week. It's getting kind of hard to keep track of which Sheila we're watching at any given time. James is unrepentant in the DR, saying that he went back on his word and booted Matt, just like what was done to him two weeks ago. But James, what about the fact that they brought you back? Well, as he says, he's only back "because of their own stupidity." The editors helpfully insert a shot of Natalie, just to illustrate this concept. Aside from that, this is the guy who wants to bike around the world to promote peace: someone who can't get past the fact that he got beat on a game show. We get a closer look at Matt's departure, and see that he not only turned away from Natalie's kiss, he also pushed her away with a cold "See you later" before walking out. She cries in the DR room, and Sharon helpfully psychoanalyzes that Natalie now feels like she's lost the game and her soulmate. Natalie is half right. Adam runs down the alliances one more time: Joshuah/James/Chelsia/Sharon vs. Ryan/Sheila/Natalie (an alliance he feels railroaded into). Josh feels good about having voted to keep Ryan, since Ryan is staying and they can continue to have their secret alliance. And then, thanks to an overlong NCAA basketball game combined with a DVR glitch, I lose several minutes of video, but I feel confident that it consisted of little more than additional footage of Natalie being sad and everyone else talking about the new strategic landscape represented by Matt's departure and Adam's position as HoH.

Sharon drives Joshuah nuts talking to the guinea pigs in a high-pitched voice and calling them her "furr-einds," which is annoying enough for a little three-minute sequence, but I can't imagine living with it 24/7. The moral: even the least offensive person in the house can work the last nerve of the others. We see complaints about it in the DR from Josh, Adam, and -- get this -- the guinea pigs themselves, who sit on the DR couch squeaking, with the subtitles, "Sharon needs to go on the block this week for sure...'Furr-einds,' my tail." Oh, you funny, funny editors.

Let's check out Adam's HoH room. The main thing is that there is a real lot of baby food in there. The fuck? Everyone makes fun of Adam, who protests both to everyone else and the DR that he doesn't like it that much, aside from the bananas and vanilla custard. The only one not making fun of Adam is Natalie -- who hopes he shares his stash with her. I think I just figured out the reason she talks that way.

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Big Brother




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