Big Brother
Settling In

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Eat, Drink, and Be Scary

Tree stamina hijnks follow. There's a lot of talk about the possibility of needing to pee. Feet begin to fall asleep. The nests are just about big enough for two butts, but that's about it, so it's like sitting in a big chair together. Interestingly, several of these pairs make really attractive couples, particularly Roddy and Tonya and Eric and Chiara. Eric and Chiara figure out that the best way to sit is actually face-to-face with your legs around each other. It's pretty friendly, but it does look like the least cramped alternative. They seem to like each other quite a bit, and they definitely experience one of those hey-you're-cute, hey-you're-cute-too moments that don't really mean a hell of a lot but...gosh, they're nice. Lisa and Josh are sitting similarly, but they're not having the same friendly experience. They're pretending to be having one, but in reality, they're sizing each other up like the operators they are. He thinks she's hot. He thinks he's hot. She thinks he thinks she's hot. He does. He thinks she thinks he's hot. She doesn't. (Miss Alli's Mom: "This guy gives me the creeps.")

Jason and Lori are also getting along, too, but very differently. Basically, he's just a big old sweetie-pie, and she thinks he's darling. (Me, too.) Gerry, meanwhile, is feeling rather "protective" of Amy. Your local psychoanalyst could have a field day with this whole nest/parenting metaphor, but I'm not really trained for it. Amy is already half-hammered, and she pulls a beer out of her grocery bag and pops it open. It is quickly pointed out to her that this won't do much to help her stay in the tree, given that the need for a potty break is emerging as the most likely limiting factor in your staying power. In a later interview, she calls this "the worst decision [she's] ever made," and considering how many times I suspect she has been awakened in a strange bed by sirens, I just don't believe that's the case. Amy continues to act up like the loudest girl at a sorority party. Meanwhile, shortly after the rules are clarified that both feet have to stay inside the nest, Josh and Lisa are sent packing, and shortly after that, Gerry and Amy have to give up so that she can empty her beer-soaked system. The twangy Banjo of Bodily Function Humor follows her as she skitters to the potty. Eric and Chiara are soon similarly bladder-impaired, and have to bolt.

Roddy, on the other hand is fresh as a daisy. "I just readjusted," he says, "and I have a brand-new ass." Ha! That's my favorite line of the episode. He's a cutie-pie also. Those remaining in the tree can see that Eric, Josh, and Gerry have all tied on their do-rags, and are having a sit-down inside the house. Interestingly, Gerry is the only one hip enough to tuck in the back so it doesn't stick up in that rather papal manner that I find so unattractive. "We didn't get bandannas because we're not in the house, guys!" Jason mock-whines. Heh. The bandannaed goobers in the Aquarium Room start talking alliance, while Danielle, out in her tree, starts lamenting the fact that she has the meat in her shopping bag, and it's probably not doing too well up in the tree. The alliance talk continues inside, where Josh singles out Marcellas for prospective booting. The others agree, for no particularly convincing reason except that they think he's "negative." Whatever. ["I immediately feel protective toward Marcellas since, in his place, I would be at least as negative and cranky about my annoying fellow houseguests, and I wouldn't be nearly as fabulous and queeny to make up for it. I love Marcellas, based on the little we've seen of him." -- Wing Chun] Josh tells them he would be willing to be nominated against Marcellas as a ploy, but then he tells the camera he didn't mean it. Huh? If you tell people to nominate you and you secretly don't want them to, how does that help you? This is the worst idea since freezing Ted Williams's head.

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Big Brother

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