Big Brother
Sayonara, Chiara

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
You Reap, You Sow, You Weep, You Go

Wednesday. Previously on Big Brother 3: Josh and his TiVo-legs beard finally punched their long-overdue one-way ticket on the slow train to No Money For You. By a five-to-two vote, the houseguests invited Amy to return to the house, bringing her ugly Bo Derek hair with her. She then endured pond scum, eels, dead squid, and cod liver oil to earn a stint in the big fluffy HoH robe. Lisa wondered whether her vote to bring back Amy instead of Eric would upset the delicate balance in the relationship that is The Second Greatest Love The World Has Ever Known (currently campaigning to have its name changed to The Greatest Love The World Has Ever Known, Not Counting Relationships Of Convenience Between Professorial Dorks And Needy Exhibitionist Nitwits).

Blue-and-white Julie tells a crestfallen but brave-faced Josh that he is evicted. Again. You know, they just showed this shot thirty seconds ago. Apparently, short-term amnesia is one of the most common medical problems among Big Brother viewers. The Tragic Chimes Of Taking Out The Trash play as blue-and-white Josh is escorted to the door. In the diary room, Roddy tells us how hard it was to see Josh leave. Only he says "Joshie," as he so often does. You know, I have a friend Josh whose parents call him "Joshie," and somehow, coming from them, it works. On this particular Josh? Not so much. Roddy says that he liked Josh. Marcellas intends to just say "good riddance," but he winds up saying it in that annoying, overdone, Marcellas way he has, this time invoking a botany metaphor about Josh sowing seeds of discord or something, and how now Marcellas will be the avenging lawnmower of righteousness, assisted by Amy, the pruning shears of justice. It's very dramatic. It makes me want to run right out and buy a ficus. Roddy talks about how difficult it was seeing his own shapely fanny on the block, and then we see him sit on the couch while Kiki gives him a kiss. Marcellas runs to get Roddy an extra-large dose of sanitizer. Oh, no, he doesn't. Ah, well. Roddy can always boil himself later.

Jason's turn in the diary room. He says he was surprised to hear that, when Roddy first heard Julie say it was a five-to-nothing vote, Roddy thought the five might have been to boot him. This made Jason notice that Roddy doesn't entirely trust him, despite the fact that he did indeed tell Danielle all week that he wouldn't vote for Roddy. Of course, I don't think this episode indicates that Roddy has much reason to consider Jason his faithful sidekick or anything.

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Big Brother




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