Big Brother
Rigged, I Tell You! Rigged!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
Legion Goes Boom

Blue-and-white HoH competition. We see that, unlike everyone else, when Janelle got her pie in the face, she started freaking out and waving her arms like a little baby, which explains why Will was wiping pie off her face. Mike revoltingly DRs that he hopes his HoH room is "chilly." Dear Mike: Shut up. No, seriously. SHUT UP. Danielle says that she was very happy and excited when Mike won. Will says in the diary room that "HoH is the worst thing that can happen to you," and he says he's not happy at all that Mike won, because it's made them a huge target. Seriously, has Mike learned nothing? Well, I guess he logically would have learned nothing, given that he's...himself. Mike goes on to say that since the coup was only good for three evictions, it's now a dead letter with him as HoH. Janelle, of course, whines in the DR that she's the last one from her alliance, boo hoo.

So now, Janelle lies around and cries, feeling miserably sorry for herself. She cries in the house, she cries outside, she sniffles when George and James both try to comfort her, she puts on her big sunglasses so people won't think she looks ugly, and she generally makes a big spectacle of herself. Part of the time, she's wah-wah-ing in the bedroom by herself, so any claim that she's doing this as strategy is demonstrably bullshit. Mike comes to talk to her while she's holding court, and he tells her that he was sad about Howie, and it "hurt [his] feelings." That is the least convincing speech I have ever heard, and I used to work in politics. Everyone else tries to give her these ridiculous, uplifting speeches, but it's only Will who makes her feel better, because he doesn't really take her all that seriously. "Who's the princess of Big Brother?" he asks. "Who is it?" She pretends she doesn't know. Finally, she's like, "Me?" And he says, "It's you. Why?" She makes him tell her that it's because she's beautiful and smart and awesome. She protests weakly, so he piles on some more flattery. She goes on to give a preposterous speech in the DR that this was all strategy to appear weak. You know, refusing to acknowledge that she did it was really the only thing that could make what she just did even more lame than it already was. "I meant to do that!" Whatever, liar. Strategy for...the benefit of the camera guys? Trying to make the crew think she's weak by snorfling in the bedroom by herself? I swear, she's made entirely of cotton balls. I bet you can feel them through her skin.

Will and Janelle talk in the red room, and she wants to know why he didn't tell her Howie was going to go home. He explains that he didn't tell her because she would have told Howie, and considering the display Howie just put on, he has an easy time arguing that Howie would have freaked out. He tells her that he knows she'll never forgive him, but he says that he really just didn't want the situation to get ugly. Will says in the DR that he feels bad for Janelle, and he's trying to console her, because that way, he can lift her up and make her better and more loyal than before, forcing her to go after James for him. Heh. I don't think that's going to work, baby, but I like the way you think.

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Big Brother




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