Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!
Put Yourself In, Coach

Julie's in the old banana costume, which has been repurposed into a baggy sheath dress, as she asks whether the coaches will enter the game. Like we don't already know.

In the previouslies and recaps and story-so-fars, we're reminded that Shane won Head of Household last week, then nominated Ashley and Joe, then won the Power of Veto, then denominated Ashley and put Frank in his place. Basically it's been The Shane Show all week. Then Julie flatters us that we might be making the biggest move in the game, voting on whether the four coaches will get to join the game or not. I know, the suspense is killing you.

After another flashback to the Veto ceremony, Mike DRs that he had a deal with Shane, and is "a little perturbed that they're going to make me go back to work this week." Ashley congratulates herself, "I did it!" Which is like a drought-stricken farmer taking credit for rain. Frank, meanwhile, is already counting votes in his head. Shane reassured Frank after the Veto meeting that he wasn't the target, when he totally is. As for Joe, he's feeling better about his chances to beat Frank than Ashley. Frank goes in to calm Mike down, which doesn't really work since Frank saw this coming and didn't warn Mike.

Britney and Frank visit Mike, and she gloats, "Look, Boogs, I know you're pissed." Britney tells Mike about her "no foreseeable circumstance" answer from Ian the other night. She also says she doesn't want to get Ian in trouble. Good luck with that.

Janelle and the non-nominated members of her team are up in HoH with Britney and Shane, talking about the move Shane just made, at least until Ashley sends the conversation spinning off into space with her hippie-speak. Ian, meanwhile, is completely bowled over by Frank's nomination, totally unaware that it's the result of his own overly cautious words to Britney. Ian tells Mike and Frank about how he didn't want to write Britney a check he couldn't cash, and Mike impatiently tells him, "This is the Big Brother house! You can bounce checks!" But for now, they figure Frank's fate is in the hands of Dan and Danielle.

Britney and Janelle lie in bed talking about cramps, which segues into Janelle's inability to cry, and her lack of emotionalism in general. Which Britney envies. Envy, of course, is an emotion.

Janelle, Wil, and Joe hang out in the backyard, while Janelle shit-talks Frank, as if they were going to vote for him to stay instead of Joe if she hadn't. She adds to Wil that Frank's departure is the best-case scenario for him, and takes full credit for keeping Wil off the block this week. Which Wil doesn't particularly appreciate, any more than he appreciates her obvious coaching tips about the upcoming HoH competition. And then when he leaves, she shit-talks Wil to Joe.

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Big Brother




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