Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
Disenchanted April

As you may recall, Thursday night's live show ended with the start of an endurance-based HoH competition, with nine of the ten remaining players hanging from a ledge on the side of a fake building, which kept tipping forward and trying to shake them off. I do have to make a correction: it was Ollie who told Jessie to take his shirt off, not Memphis. For what difference it makes. During a lull in the fake building's shaking, Jessie asks Renny who she'd nominate, and Renny acts like she wouldn't go after him. Jessie then takes a moment to lecture everyone on which of their muscle groups they're working.

Let's take a moment to review the results of the unanimous vote to evict Angie on Thursday: that was Keesha's decision, for her own petty reasons, but everyone went along. And Jessie says that with his alliance down to three members, it's do or die now.

Back at the HoH competition, Jessie says that if he slips off the ledge he'll just use the bar to pull himself back up. Jerry drops to the mat below shortly afterward. How long did he last? 26 minutes. Libra falls seven minutes later. Dan starts thinking about throwing another competition, but he can't just go ahead and do it, choosing instead to talk about it a lot beforehand. He drops after 45 minutes. Libra, at long last, smells a rat behind Dan's sustained and increasingly vocal suckitude. Ollie suddenly drops at 55 minutes, and it's April and Renny up against Jessie, Michelle, and Memphis. Some time after that, the bargaining begins. Michelle promises to keep Renny safe. But soon, Jessie appears to be nearing the end of his rope, and drops off at 1:06. "That was a bogus competition," Jessie DRs. Yes, anything Jessie can't win must therefore be bogus simply by virtue of the fact that he didn't win it. Look, nobody made you build up all that muscle mass that you would have to one day hold up, you tool. Memphis tries to make April an offer, but April's doing fine, so Memphis ends up dropping at 1:16, totally empty-handed.

Dan starts offering motivational speeches, and Renny takes him up on it. While "Eye of the Tiger"-inspired music plays (let's just call it "Tear Duct of the Housecat"), Dan delivers a speech right out of every cheesy sports movie he can remember, first to Renny and then to Michelle. While Renny is shifting her legs to combat her growing numbness, she loses her footing just short of two hours, so now it's down to April and Michelle. April requests her own speech from Dan, and it seems to work for her despite cracking her up. Meanwhile, members of both players' respective alliances fret to us in the DR about the stakes of this HoH competition. But they're going to have to wait until after the commercials to find out the results.

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Big Brother




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