Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
There Can Be Only One

After Julie welcomes us to the live finale, the studio audience gets to its feet, waving placards like this is something people are supposed to get excited about. That launches us into an extended set of Dan-centric previouslies that covers basically the whole season and makes me wonder why we had to follow everything that's happened for the last 71 days. You only need to know two things: Dan and Memphis are the remaining two players, and the editors really love throwing in that little ricochet sound effect every time they do their secret Renegades handshake.

As Julie reminds us that someone will be winning $500,000 tonight, Dan and Memphis slouch in the nominee seats in the living room, both wearing suit jackets and dress shirts. Maybe they were also wearing ties at one point, and their aggressively unbuttoned shirts simply swallowed them.

At the jury house, April, Ollie, Michelle, Keesha, Renny, and Libra take seats in the backyard (arranged by alliance) to await the seventh juror. Keesha hopes it's Memphis, because she's still pissed at him. Ollie still has it in for Dan, but Libra wants Jerry to show up. "To spend one more night with that man?" Renny groans. They're still talking about how hard everyone worked to avoid him when he walks into the yard. His partial deafness seems to have forestalled any awkward moments. "The two evil people are in there," Michelle concludes. Jerry tells them that Dan and Memphis were both playing all of them. Keesha's still pissed, and suddenly everyone's yelling at Jerry for not getting Memphis out when he had the chance. Renny has predictably boarded Keesha's anti-Memphis train (because Keesha's got some kind of buy-one-get-one-free hookup with her when it comes to any kind of rail passage), and Keesha talks about how Dan did such a good job of getting everyone to like him. Michelle, Ollie, and April are still angry about Dan's game play, particularly the whole Replacement Nominee Roulette debacle (or triumph, depending on your point of view). Libra points out that this isn't about friends, and Ollie has to admit that Dan and Memphis have both played the game well.

Michelle still thinks that Dan made a genius move in backdooring her. Yes, Michelle, we know. Your awesomeness is so awesome it reflects additional awesomeness on the person awesome enough to have gotten rid of you. April brings up the trip that Michelle went on with Dan, and this is the first Jerry has heard about it. Dude, Michelle must be pissed that she didn't get to drop that bomb. There were only three people in the world she could tell, and two of them have already been blown. Keesha still maintains that Dan played a better game, and Jerry agrees that Memphis let Dan do the dirty work. Keesha bitterly interjects that she did some of that for Memphis as well, and look where it got her. April thinks that Memphis played a better game by getting this far without ever winning Head of Household, but Renny shoots down April's insane moon logic. Of course Renny's logic is almost as insane and lunar as April's (as usual), which tells you how little sense April is making. All they can seem to agree on is that they're going to have a tough decision to make, and that they're all pretty gullible. Okay, they're half right.

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Big Brother




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